Look for what is good and you will find it.

My sister gave me this fab quotebook for Christmas. It's called 'Live Good' and is filled with positive reminders to live - good. I love inspirational quotes, I love goodness, and I love remembering why I'm still fighting for my dreams. So I thought I'd share a quote from the book every so often, to inspire me. I hope it'll give you another reason to live good, too :)

Wonderful Christmastime

This was me on Christmas day 2008.

This is me this year...

Though I miss the real sunshine in my life, and my life is not exactly what I want it to be right now, I have much to be grateful for this year.

1. I can sing, and I LOVE to sing Christmas music, especially the spiritual ones. I love to testify of my Savior's birth and life and light through song. And I honestly think my voice sounds ten times better when I sing sacred music.
2. I sleep beside a natural gas fireplace:)
3. Hoodies and comfy, cozy pajama pants.
4. I can buy just about anything I want to eat at the grocery store 10 minutes away. And we have a fancy new stove to cook it all with. Not everyone gets to eat everyday...
5. I bake like a little Betty Crocker, and hardly use recipes anymore.
6. The frost makes all the trees in our yard sparkle in the morning. I love sparkly things!
7. I have the bestest best friend in the world, who keeps track of me wherever my crazy life takes me and loves me in spite of myself.
8. The little people at church think I'm cool. They are little rockstars:)
9. Four handsome nephews who love me, and I adore them!
10. I still speak french and understand spanish and that's just cool.
11. My dad's movie theatre. I got to serve popcorn to little kids twice last week, have seen 5 movies for fre and eaten way to much candy, soda and fresh buttered popcorn.
12. After 2 piano lessons I can play 2 Christmas carols!
13. My cute clothes that still fit. Cute shoes. French scarves. Jewelry from Italy, Spain, Israel, Peru...
14. Body for Life: my most trusty and reliable weight loss plan that is waiting just around the corner for me in 2010.
15. Hot chocolate
16. Missionaries
17. Love. I have been so loved by so many good people at different times in my life. I'm grateful I know how it feels to love and be loved.
18. My nephew decided to be baptized next month, and I get to help teach him. He is stellar:)
19. The gospel of Jesus Christ is part of my life everyday!! I love it, I live it, and I would glady die for it. He lives, He loves us, and this is the best time to tell the whole wide world!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! JOYEUX NOËL!! FELIZ NAVIDAD!! ZALIG KERSTFEAST!! FELIZ NATAL!! FRÖHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN!! NADOLIG LLAWEN!!

"Of all times, it is Christmas when we must surely realize that there can be no true worship of Him who is the Christ without giving of ourselves. At this season let us, each one, reach out a little more generously in the spirit of the Christ. It is not enough to give toys and baubles. It is not enough to give alms to those in need. That is important, yes. But it is also important that we give of ourselves with our alms. May the real meaning of Christmas distill into our hearts, that we may realize that our lives, given us by God our Father, are really not our own, but are to be used in the service of others." - Gordon B. Hinckley

Yay

Today began and ended on 2 rather frustrating notes. However, in between the 2, I secured tickets to a Michael Buble concert in Salt Lake City in March.
That means I get to visit some awesome people, and see an amazing concert of this beautiful man with my bestest friend in the world. And that happy thought makes up for all the other grrrrs of today :)

I have a big fatty crush on Michael Bublé...

My life is a lot less than what I want it to be right now, so to keep myself positive and believing in my dreams, I drown myself in good music and fun movies. It helps me survive reality.

Recently I have been eating up every note from this crooner, and realized that I actually have all his albums... He is adorable and I love his voice - and he's a fellow Canadian! Anyway, his latest is fab, especially a really fun song he wrote himself. It really reminds me to have hope and just keeps moving forward. We'll just pretend it's about me ;)

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in. I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
I tried so very hard not to loose it; I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility...

I might have to wait. I’ll never give up.
I guess it's half timin' and the other half's luck.
Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come outta nowhere and into my life.
And I know that we can be so amazin'.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
... Yeah bein' in your life is gonna change me.
And now I can see every single possibility!

Someday I know it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
Promise you kid I’ll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet...

Yep, love him :)



(Pretty sure if I could find a guy with a boyish grin and dreamy pipes like Bublé, I'd be totally okay with marrying a Canadian boy. And Maybe Ryan Reynolds' bod... ;) just saying! There are some fine Canadians out there! lol)

Age is relative

Last Friday I drove the 2+ hours to Edmonton, got all done up, and went on a date. I was nervous and excited, but I love getting pretty! We had to do a few loops of the city to gather our dates and get to our dinner, but it was so yummy and a fun time. We got to the dance pretty late, and it ended an hour earlier than expected. (If you know of my love for dancing and the 2 months since I last did... you'll understand how tragic that was!!) So we mingled a little, then took our dates home and went to bed.

All in all in was an enjoyable evening. For my first major venture into the Edmonton YSA social scene, I think I did okay, though I'm not sure that there will be many others. Most importantly, I learned something valuable from my date.

From what my friend told me about him, and his pictures, he seemed fun and cute. And in reality he was a nice enough guy. He had the potential to be interesting. However, I was totally uncomfortable with him. It was a struggle to carry on a conversation!!

And it was all in his ATTITUDE!! At 26 years old, he has already given up on singles wards, and casually attends a family unit. He doesn't like to stay up past 10pm cuz it makes him cranky the next day. He said that he didn't bother socializing because it was all meaningless smalltalk, and no one would remember what he said anyway. Several similar negative statements later, I had realized something about myself:

I AM AWESOME!!

I'm really not that old at all! My age may be higher in digits, but I am still positive, vibrant, and alive! I get excited for dates and new experiences. I look forward to the small joys of life. I love learning about people. I thrive on good conversation. I love good music, dancing, and laughing. I love cheesy jokes and teasing. Although I have been to hundreds of YSA activities, I still make an effort to go when I can. I'm open to possibilities, and always up for an adventure! I try not to have expectations, but I like to give people and situations the benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps all my years of trial and error on the LDS YSA scene have given me that perspective - instead of becoming bitter like my date. Well thank heaven!

I am cute and fun and interesting! And someday that will be enough to catch the eye of the kind of man that I want to build eternity with. He won't be intimidated by my travels or life experience. Age will be just a number that doesn't even register with him. We'll be comfortable together, interested in each other's worlds, and inspired to be better with, and for one another.

Yep. He will be awesome. Just like me:)

My brother is officially a geek

This evening our dining room was taken over by my little brother and his friends as they discussed the latest video game releases, and played dungeons and dragons. They chowed down on soda pop and potatoe chips during their weekly geek out, then finished the night with a round of stupid-funny videos on YouTube. Woohoo.
Although it's a little foreign to me, I definitely prefer this to the alternative activities that occupy the lives of far too many 18-year-olds. But wow... it was so bizarre!

One small trip; one giant leap for my social life.

In an attempt to get out of my boring world and fake a social life, I went to Edmonton last weekend. It is the nearest big city, about 2 hours away, and there are a lot of YSAs. I also have a lot of family in the city, plus several of the stores I love, and the temple.

So on Saturday I got to go to Ikea and Old Navy (where I got some SWEET deals), and did a session at the temple. It was very busy: a wedding outside, a youth baptisms trip, and a young fiancee receiving her own endowment, surrounded by family. Happy! I was already pretty content with my shopping and all, but the experience I had at the temple was exactly what I needed. I felt so loved! I'm telling you, God knows us individually, and the temple truly is a sacred place where He can communicate with us more directly. AMAZING!!

That evening I got to catch up with Chelsa, an old friend who is such a doll. We talked and talked and talked and watched 'One fine day.' What better way to cap off a great day then with the young and dreamy George Clooney? :)

Sunday I attended her singles ward and was reminded how fun and interesting that environment is. And they are pretty much the same wherever you go. I need to get back into that scene one of these days...

I spent monday with my cousin Cathy and her 2 little ones. They are about the most active and adventurous kids under 3 I have ever met. So fun! We took them to a play place, crawled through the tunnels with them, talked, ate, and had a grand ol' time. Cathy and I are about the same age, but we haven't spent much time together in a very long time. And motherhood has made her even more awesome, so it was a great visit.

They all want me to move to Edmonton, but I just can't get my head around it. I don't know why but it doesn't feel right... Plus it snows even more there than here! I'm sure there will be many more visits though. Sanity only lasts so long without a recharge.

And this weekend was perfectly that :)

But then the fun continued...

See, there is a YSA Preference formal this coming weekend. Chelsa is going and really wanted me to go too. With my love of dressing up and dances and parties, how could I resist?? The only problem was the date. I know no one... (well almost no one, but the almost is simply not an option)

So Chelsa opened up her facebook friends list and we went shopping.(haha!) She showed me a few guys who were nice, or funny, then she all of a sudden she was like, "Wait, this guy is awesome!! He's so fun, and he's cute!"

She wasn't lying, he's certainly attractive. And approximately my age. And, judging by the photos, way fun.

Hmmm...

So she messaged him to see if he had been asked, and if he was up for a blind date. And a few days later, I got myself a date to the dance. He is a brave soul.

And I'm totally excited!!!

I'll let you know how it goes...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

(Story of my life! Good thing I love to dance... cuz the storms can get pretty overwhelming.)

Glimpses

I believe God gives us little moments, every so often, to remind us what it is that we are working towards. It's these little tastes of pure happiness that help us push through the daily frustrations and little miseries that make the accomplishments of such goals seem so far away and nearly impossible.

This past week was one of those glimpses for me. I got to spend many precious hours feeding, burping, changing, observing, snuggling with, and simply loving my adorable nephew Miles. He is just 11 weeks old, but he is such a strong, sweet, beautiful baby. And he's still so close to heaven! We shared some pretty awesome moments, and that little dude got me teary-eyed on several occasions. I love, love, love him!!! (How can you not?!? Look at that smile!)

The highlight of my week, was Friday night. We gave his parents the night off and I took care of him. He spent the most of the night sleeping soundly in my arms (I know, I spoiled him). It was wonderful. (Thank you soooooo much Terrah and Tyler!! You guys are the best!!)

I want so much to be a mom. I ache to have a child of my own. However, I currently lack the highly important other half to that equation... I hope and pray that I will have the opportunity to have my own sweet little babies someday. And if they are half as wonderful as little Miles, I will be the happiest momma around!

In the meantime, I thank heaven for the glimpses.

Tomorrow!!!

I get to meet my nephew Miles tomorrow. Isn't he ADORABLE?!?!?

I'm so excited!!!

And he's bringing his parents so I get to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law too.

YAY:)

All growed up

Last night I went to the wedding of a friend from high school. It was the first time that I was actually home to attend one of their weddings. It was like walking back in time, or into the Twilight Zone... But it was also really fun. I got to catch up with several of the dozen girls who went through most of school with me.

I soon discovered that I am the only one who speaks a foreign language, the only one who went to university outside of Alberta, and the only one who hasn't settled down within 2 hours of where we all grew up. I am also the only member of the church, and ironically, I am the only one who isn't married and having babies. That kinda made me a little sad, but I am so happy for them.

One friend, who is a total sweetheart and has been trying for years to have a baby, finally got pregnant. She is thrilled, and I couldn't be happier for them. She hasn't changed at all, in so many good ways. Love this girl:)

The plus side is that being away has allowed me to forget any bad experiences with these people. I enjoy some more than others, but I missed out on all the drama. So I get to just enjoy them for who they are now.

I long for the day when I can share my own husband-and-baby stories, but I don't regret a thing. I am grateful for the people and experiences that have made me who I am. I am so grateful for all the places I have been and the opportunities that have enlightened my life. I have learned so much.

And someday, I will be a great mom because of it!! Till then, I hold to what I know, trust the Lord, and enjoy all the great women, beautiful babies, and fun little people around me:)

The one and only

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ!! I love seeing people embrace it!! I love the good people who joyfully serve and work to share it!!

Since being home 2 people have been baptized, I have done proxy endowment sessions, I have worked with the missionaries, I have listened to and read the past year's conference talks(yay for the November Ensign!!!), I attended stake conference, I got to share my own testimony on several occasions, and I was present as a family with a wild and crazy background was sealed in the holy temple. HAPPY!!!!!

I love my Savior. I know He lives! I know God the Father loves me and has a plan for me. Even when nothing makes sense to me, I know it's all part of His plan, and therefore it will all work out eventually. Elder Henry B. Eyring said:

"Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day."

Isn't that awesome?!? If you don't know what I know, or maybe you forgot, check out this link.

http://jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/the-only-true-god/video/the-only-true-god-and-jesus-christ-whom-he-hath-sent

or

http://www.lds.org/

This is Christ's church, and it's alive and well in the hearts and lives of good people everywhere. I am so blessed to know that! It's what makes this crazy life worth living.

Preach and teach and work.... and play!

I have always loved missionaries. As I got older, and then served a mission myself, I saw Elders in a discerning light, and loved the good ones even more. And as I got older, they were even younger.

The current Elders in my branch are certainly good ones. In fact, these guys are the closest I have to friends-in-the-flesh right now. Elder Holder and Elder Saunders both grew up in Idaho, are on the homestretch, and are really great guys. Maybe it's cuz they are American so we understand each other. Maybe its cuz they are really funny, energetic guys, with incredible love and devotion to the gospel and to their callings. Or maybe it's because they harass me like my guy friends used to. Either way, I am so grateful for them. They have helped us with a lot of work on the house, and we have fed them a lot too:) They came out for a bonfire at our place last week and gave me roman candles to shoot off. The other day, after a morning snowfall and installing a support beam in the basment, they totally ambushed me in a snowball fight. I'm pretty sure I have bruises!

I am so grateful for them. They don't ask me questions I don't have answers to, they just joke with me, respect me, and thank me for being awesome:) They are just what I need right now. And I'm sure they have no idea. I just wish I could hug them! lol

Home is a relative term

What I thought would be a safe and happy landing in a place I knew and was comfortable in - well, wasn't. My parents weren't even in the country when I got here. Honestly, if I had known what I was coming back to, I probably would have stayed longer in France. Good thing I didn't know! Cuz in spite of the discomfort and frustration, I know I am needed here. There is soooo much work to do, and of course, dad wants to do it himself. So I am free labour, and expert home decorating advisor:)

I have had to re-define my idea of 'home.' The house I knew and grew up in, is now but a shell, literally. All the walls of the basement were torn out, and the floor jack-hammered and re-poured. The living room and kitchen have been swapped. Doors became windows and stairs now enter on the opposite side of the basement. Since I no longer have a room, I sleep in a camp trailer. However, since it is already starting to freeze, we have to go in the house for any and all plumbing. Yep, just like camping - in Canada - in the winter. Plus, with my travels around Europe, I have now been living out of a suitcase for over 2 months. Joy.

Where my room used to be

The basement

The new kitchen

I've gotten used to disappointment. I'm no stranger to being alone. I've been in odd situations before. But that doesn't make it any more enjoyable now!

I felt so much peace about coming back to Canada. For the first time ever, I wanted to be here. Perhaps this rocky homecoming is a way of reminding me that I really don't have a place here. I'm sure I can contribute to my family and church. I can learn new things like spanish, piano, and basic home renovation. I go to the gym and help the missionaries. But before long, there is a halt in progression, because I'm learning it all alone.

This town is a great place for young families. There are good people here. They are nice people. But they are too busy with their kids, careers, homes, and callings to really be my friends. They are in different places in their lives. If I was married, I think I could even put up with the winters. But as a single young adult, there is no future. I have zero dating possibilities here.

I was totally fine with being single when I was in France. I could pretty much go wherever, and do whatever I wanted to, and I had tons of diverse friends to keep life interesting. In Orlando, I was in a place I loved, close to the temple and the beach, and I had great friends around to play and eat and dance with. But when all the friends are miles away and the communication is slim to none, suddenly I feel very, very single and very, very alone.

And once again, the only place to go in to your knees. My prayers are stilled filled with gratitude, but they are longer, and accompanied by many more tears.

I hate feeling pathetic and lost. I don't like all the questions I don't have answers to. I hate looking like a failure, and disappointing my parents. I feel out of control of my life.

So I try to stay positive and count my blessings. I serve. I remind myself of all the amazing things I have seen. I focus my energies on achieving goals and progressing, in spite of my residential or relationship status.

And someday I will establish my own 'home.' It will be somewhere I can feel safe and loved. Where I can progress and learn, but also serve and teach and share. My home will be a haven of peace and positivity where the spirit can dwell, and where all who enter can find a shelter from the storms of the world. It will be a place filled with memories and souvenirs of the people, places, and adventures that have made me who I am. It will be a daily celebration of life, family, and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Someday I will find it. For now, I guess I'm learning patience - again.

Homeward Bound

"Another summer day has come and gone away in Paris and Rome, but I wanna go home..."

For the first time in my life, I understand exactly the lyrics of this song. It made me cry the other day. And for the first time since I moved out nearly 9 years ago, I am so happy to go home.

In just 5 days, I will be back on Canadian soil, having completed another chapter of my life, and ready to figure out the next one. The french chapter turned out to be a little shorter than expected, but I really feel good about all that I have learned and experienced and become while here. I have been soooooooo blessed!! And all because my life turned upside down, I finally hit bottom, and turned it all over to the Lord.

I have never felt so much peace and confidence in the midst of so much uncertainty. I am homeless, jobless, broke, and single..... and I feel great:)

I will soon have a little more time on my hands to catch you up on all my adventures and insights of the past months, and I look forward to re-living it a little. I cannot express how bewildered I am by all this. I feel so humbled. I never would have imagined myself at this point a year ago, and I can't wait to see where I'll be a year from now!

Thank you for all your encouragement, support, contact, and well-wishes. I truly have some of the best friends in the world - all over the world!!

I don't think I'll ever stop counting my blessings, there are far too many. And all this came from one of the most devastating experiences of my life. God truly is a God of miracles, and His plan is perfect!

We are family

I am currently staying with a fabulous Colombian family, the Londonos, in between my travel days. I have known them since my mission, and I seem to fit right in! They are all such warm, happy, loving people, and have been so kind to open their home to me. I may not be here very often, but when I am I know I can totally relax and feel at home.
Today, after a long day of flying and bus rides and hauling my suitcases all over the countryside, I finally got home just before 6pm. I was gone just one week while visiting Israel. As I walked in the door, I was meant by all 5 kids, ranging in age from 2 to 17. They were all full of hugs and kisses and so happy to see me and hear about my trip. I felt so loved!! Talk about a warm welcome. That is what home should be. I love these people and their righteous examples. I'm so grateful for the time I have to spend with them.
Plus they help me with my spanish:) Muy bien!

The irony of it all

My blog is named appropriately, because I love to take whatever opportunities come my way, and make even the little things into adventures. I'm all about meeting new people and discovering new things, whether in a foreign country or just down the street. I don't tend to sit still for long.

Unfortunately, I am often so busy planning and having my adventures, that I don't have time to write about them! And my hard drive is literally overflowing with pictures, so I don't even have room to add all the new ones. Lame, I know.

So instead, you get the random ramblings and reflections from the down time in between. Sorry... someday I'll fill you in on all the exciting stuff!

P.S. I'm an aunt again! My newest nephew Miles is a stud, and I can't wait to meet him. Now there's an adventure I look forward to: parenthood. For now, I leave it to Terrah and Tyler to master, then they can laugh at me when it's finally my turn ;) Yay for babies!!!

2009: International Year of the Wedding

So many of my friends have gotten married this year. That's pretty normal. I am 27, so my remaining single peers are of prime marrying age. I also belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so marriage and family are high priorities, and sex happens only after marriage. Every spring brings a new round of wedding announcements. However this year has been especially interesting in the nuptial realm. Recently, so many of my good friends who have been through a lot of life, are a little older, and truly deserve the incredible joy of beginning forever with the love of their lives, are the ones getting married.

I think that is awesome.

These are people who have spent years alone, trying to be happy and productive, but never dating and wondering why. These are people who have struggled with their faith, their health, and family issues. Some have been previously engaged, survived devastating break-ups, and learned to trust and love again.

I know everyone has hard times and everyone deserves to be happy in spite of them. But it is especially gratifying, happy and faith-building to see really wonderful people finally find someone who sees just how wonderful they are, and wants to love them forever too. It's awesome to see so many friends with a little 'life experience,' find their 'other half' and be joined with them eternally. The only thing that would make it happier, would be being there with them, but at least I have the photos:)

Honestly, on my hardest days, when life doesn't make sense and I feel alone or unwanted, hearing about these sweet love stories and seeing the beautiful pictures reminds me of what I'm working towards. They give me hope that someday it might work out for me too! That's what all the waiting, working, hoping, hurting, healing, and taking chances are for. The possibility of forever. Finding your 'partner in crime,' 'soul mate,' 'best friend,' and 'cohort.' It's being complete.
I am not in a place in my life for this for happen for me now (literally, I live in France!), but I know it will happen someday, and it will be sooooo worth it! In the meantime, I share in the happiness of my well-deserving friends. Congratulations and lots of love to you all!

Amy's lament

In a matter of 24 hours, I went from the peak of perfect health to dealing with the worst head cold ever. I could barely swallow cuz of the razor blades hacking at my throat, and I woke up every couple hours to spit so I could breath. Sorry, gross, but true. My head pounded and my body ached. And of course, all this settled in on my days off.
After a trip to the local pharmacie, I spent Saturday guzzling herbal tea, doping up on ibuprofen and decongestant, sneezing, fending off hot flashes and chills, experimenting with nasal spray, and coughing up nastiness. (for those of you that have lived with me, this is about 10 times worse than my regular flem-fest)
Although my throat has calmed, my head is still as blocked up as ever. I feel like Adelaide, from 'Guys and Dolls' and I don't think she's too far off. Maybe it's just the feeling I'm getting too old....
Maybe I need to eat more veggies.
Or maybe I'm just exhausted and my immune system has gone on strike.
I'm gonna go with the last one. Although I'm sure my legal single status isn't helping my cold - even if it's more than just psychosomatic symptoms! lol

This weekend The Paula Nelson Band played at a country saloon/club at Disneyland Paris. They stayed at my hotel. I made a new key and walked her to her room. She signed a free CD for me. They were so American, so chill, and so nice. It was like being back home in cowboy country and actually made me really happy. Who knew that I would miss all that??

So who is Paula Nelson, you ask? Don't worry, I didn't know either, and I'm the token American at the hotel.

Well, she is a country singer, a super nice lady, and just happens to be country legend Willie Nelson's daughter.

And I had to be working at Disneyland Paris to figure all that out. Yeehaw.

http://www.paulanelsonband.com/

All in a day's work

Today was a great day.
I got to go to church and drink in the love, testimony, gratitude, and spirit of God that filled the building. I got to catch up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I got to take the sacrament, ponder, pray and sing. And I got lots of hugs and bisous. Yay.

I went straight from church to work, which I started an hour later than normal – so that I could attend church. Because of this, I got a private briefing with my favorite manager. This is the second time just the 2 of us, and we talked for about a half hour – it could have lasted hours and I wouldn’t have complained! He is the most adorably charming French man I have ever met, and quite honestly makes me weak in the knees, in his own humble way. Moving on…

My very first check-in tonight was a Spanish family. Normally they can be a little impatient and disorganized and though I love them, they make me crazy sometimes! Plus, fresh off my days off, my Spanish comprehension was less than stellar. So I warned them about my “poco espanol,” laughed and smiled a lot, gave them all the goods, and survived the check-in. Then they gave me a 10€ tip. I was so confused. That is so not spanish, and besides that, I couldn’t even tell if they liked me! Apparently all the smiling and terribly pronounced, made up verbs are endearing. Muy bien!

For dinner I ate mixed vegetables and barley that were soooo yummy. I know it sounds goofy, but it made me happy. I got home, and actually had the food I was craving. And there are 3 types of ice cream in my freezer. Who wouldn’t be happy about that?!

2 of my favorite work friends just left on vacation, but tonight I got to visit with about a dozen other equally awesome people. Since I worked the mid shift, I got to see people from both the morning and evening shifts. I like getting a little taste of all the different work we do, and the people we cater to. If my job was in America, I could do it for years! Even on the slow nights it’s never boring. And I love my work peeps (almost all of them!). They make me laugh, and we have the most strange and interesting conversations. I want us all to move to Florida. That would so totally rock!

A little girl gave me a sketch of Mickey as a thank you on her way out. So sweet!
I also got a card full of guest compliments and a letter from my management saying that I have been mentioned 5 times now. I would’ve been nice to know when and by whom, but at least I know someone appreciates my efforts!

So yeah, it was a good day, even though I had to work on a Sunday. Can’t wait to see wait the rest of the week holds….

En francais, s'il vous plait!

So the french are pretty protective of their language. They even have something called the French Academy that basically polices the language. It doesn't make it in the dictionary unless they say so. They are especially weary of all the english words and slang sneeking into the daily french vocabulary. So to make it truly, officially french, they change the spelling.
Example: splatch and smatch. Yep, those are words in french, and they mean what they look like: splash and smash. But they are spelled differently and that makes it officially acceptable french. Or maybe it's just cuz they can't say the "sh" sound so they go for a "ch."
Hmmmm....

Mamma Mia!!!

Today I discovered the movie version of Mamma Mia, and I fell in love! I subsequently watched it 3 times. It is so fun and uplifting and inspiring! The men are beautiful, the women hilarious, and the scenery breath-taking. I totally loved all the fun ABBA music and high-energy dancing, and it made me feel a part of the story. Now that's what a movie ought to be - it takes you out of your own world, and lets you live in a different one for a couple hours.

I tell you what, it made me ever so slightly sad, for a few reasons. I just ache for my best friends! I hate that the women who know and love me most are so very far away. No matter how many people you know, sometimes a girl just needs her besties!

I really would love to find my own man - like, the forever kind. A combination of the men in the movie would be great: a man who looks great in a swimsuit like Sky, ages as well as Pierce Brosnan, has a boat, sings passionately, and loves me enough to chase me down on the other side of the world even 20 years later. Adorable! I'm not seeking perfection, I just want to find someone I can love more than anything in the world - who loves me back the same way. Is that really too much to ask?lol

And oh my goodness, I have to go to Greece someday. It is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! Hopefully I'll get to go there with that dreamy man I'm gonna find soon ;)

Amy, we love you, don't go back to Canada!

That's what one of my coworkers said to me tonight - in english! It was so sweet! And my favorite manager has noticed my good work lately, and was impressed at my knowledge of our hotel and front office operations. He made the comment to another coworker - She is good, but she's leaving us...
It feels good to feel wanted and needed! I feel like I am contributing and have a place. It took a little longer here cuz Europeans are tough to crack, but I finally found it. And I go home in less than 2 months. Yep, that's my life for ya.

Oh what's in a name?

My name is a constant cause of confusion. But like all things in my life, if it wasn't so complicated, it would be downright boring, and goodness knows I wouldn't want that! I kinda like it - it's one of the things that make me unique. Most people don't even know this about me. So just to clear the air, here's the scoop:

My full name is Amanda Patricia Doreen Harper, but I've gone by Amy since I was 8. Yeah, I have 4 names and I go by another one all together. See, my mom originally wanted to name me Amy, after her great grandmother, Amy Overend Wade. My dad thought it was too short, so they agreed on Amanda. Well when I was old enough to know the story, and know what was best, I decided that everyone should call me Amy. I thought it was more glamorous or something. I was a Diva child and I knew everything. Hello?

We moved and I started at a new school, so my parents let me decide what I would go by. I still remember the first time I introduced myself as Amy. Before long, that's what everyone - even my family - called me. Amanda is a formality. Amy is who I am.

However, something strange has happened since I have been living in France. The people here call me Amanda. Shocking, I know.

There are a couple reasons for this: First, there is so much paperwork and legal mumbo jumbo and bureaucracy here, that it wasn't worth the complication of going by another name. I also didn't feel like explaining why every time.

Second, Amy just never comes out right in a french accent. It always sounds a little painful, with emphasis on all the wrong sounds. On the contrary, Amanda, which sounds kinda whiney in American accents, flows beautifully in the many European dialects I hear everyday (french, italian, spanish, even british). The name can be found in virtually any language too, so I feel an instant connection to my hotel guests. And my coworkers have begun using variances like Amandalire, Amandita, and Amandina. I LOVE that, mostly because I feel like they are adopting me into their cultures. The funniest part is that I respond to Amanda in a european accent, but I don't recognize it in standard american. I know, I'm strange...

My names come from the Latin word “amare,” which is the verb “to love.” Amy means 'Beloved.' Some related names are: Aimee, Aimie, Aimy, Aimée, Ama, Amada, Amanda, Amata, Amber, Amecia, Amee, Amelia, Ami, Amia, Amiah, Amice, Amie, Amil, Amita, Ammie, Amya, Amye, Amé, Aymee, Aymi, Emily, Emma, Esma, Esmé (notice Amanda is in there people? Amy is a completely justifiable derivative of Amanda.)

This was on a card my Grandma Harper Sent me during my mission. It's crazy close to who I am at heart.

"Amy's most important quest in life is to fulfill all her dreams, from the simplest to the most

extravagant.

She sets goals and reaches them, whether she lays out a rigid plan or acts in the spur of the moment.

She will realize that fairy tales come true, as she lives a love story as profound as her intuition and generosity.

Though she is involved in countless activities and projects, she always makes time for her friends and loved ones.

She showers those dear to her heart with affection and niceties.

She is a beautiful soul who wins every one's respect and admiration, and truly deserves all the love that she receives."

I love that! It's like reading into my soul. It inspires me to reach for my true potential (in combination with the revelations of my Patriarchal blessing, of course).

So what's in a name? I don't know exactly, but I do know that they say a lot about who you are. I think they are meant for us as individuals, and that they are divinely inspired. They are a part of who we are, not just a title. And I have 2. Doesn't that tell you something else about me...?

Summertime and the living is easy

I hate to jinx it, but I think summer has finally arrived in France. The weather has been a fickle friend for the past couple months - literally dropping or rocketing 10-30 degrees in a day. One day I'd go to work all bundled up under cloudy skies, and the next day I'm sweating my socks off inthe blazing sun. The saddest part is that the nice weather only lasted 2 or three days a week , at most, and the cold, overcast, drizzly days in between were more than enough to kill any joy the sunshine brought.

However, I am happy to report that the weather has been beautiful for well over a week now. In fact, it rained a few days ago, but stayed warm, and was still sunny in the afternoon. Hurray!!

The past couple years, I spent summer sweating it up in the extreme heat and humidity of central Florida. I have to admit, it's nice to enjoy a gentler summer - and the cool, gloomy winter weather I endured only makes me appreciate this even more. This recent stretch of warmth is about as close to perfect summer conditions as one can get!

Summer brings back so many fun memories and feelings.

I love the smell just before a summer storm, and just after the rain.

I love the feeling of walking barefoot through cool grass (another luxury one rarely enjoys with all the crabgrass in Florida).

I love that it is noticeably cooler in the shade.

I love that even though I'm a pale redhead, I can actually tan. Yay for vitamin D and a healthy glow:)

I love playing soccer or going running in the evening.

I LOVE that the temperature drops ever so slightly at night - just enough to be refreshing.

And I love that it stays light out so late now, that you just want to play forever.

Summertime is beautiful in Paris! I have the blessing of living a quick metro train ride from a city full of parks and sites and yummy food. It's like a mini-vacation every time I go. And I have so many wonderful people to share it with! Lately I've had lots of visitors - and therefore excuses to play:) I'm becoming closer with my work friends, who are introducing me to the local favorites.

France also has this beautiful thing called "Soldes." It is a month-long sale, in almost every store, and up to 70% off in some cases. They do it every year. Isn't that fabulous?!

I have to say that the air conditioning here is pretty weaksauce, and somehow they missed the memo on window screens, so night time can be a little toasty. I miss the beach days, YSA activities, pool time, lizards, slurpees, and roadtrips from my Florida summers, but I'm sure I'll have all that again someday.

In the meantime, I'm basking in the glory of my European summer. I've already made some great memories, and I'm certain I will make many more in the months to come. YAY FOR SUMMER!!

Getting better all the time

Recently I have been in a funk. I don't know how else to describe it. I just felt frustrated and unmotivated and discouraged and lost and unloved. I know, lame right? I have so much love and so many wonderful people in my life, and I live in France for Pete's sake!! Well I am happy to report that I think I'm about out of said funk. I feel lighter and happier and prettier and excited about life. Sorry for the previous negativity, but we wouldn't appreciate the highs without the lows, right?
I don't think there's any specific solution or remedy when you feel like that. Sometimes you just have to keep pushing through, and eventually it goes away. But you have to decide you won't let it win.
My recent battle involved a lot of prayer, dancing, patient parents, a great bishop, two of the most amazing best friends a girl could ask for, way fun friends here in France who provided plenty of healthy distractions, lots of sleep, some good old-fashioned physical activity, and Paris. Just wandering around the city can be so therapeutic:)
So thanks for bearing wth me. I look forward to reporting more personal progress in the near future. One step at a time...

PS I love my Daddy

I have the best Daddy in the entire world for so many reasons. He listens to me, counsels me, and helps me keep pushing forward through the muck of life. But most importantly, he knows me so well and still loves me - just the way I am: faults, frailties, and mistakes included. He's apparently the only man in the world capable of that feat.

Thank heaven for my Daddy.

Why is it that the people and things that you love the most and make you happiest are the very things that can hurt you the most and cause you the most misery?? I try to keep minimal expectations, and I still feel used, disappointed, and betrayed. No wonder people have trust issues...I think I'm developing my own. Meh!

hmmm...

I am a dreamer and a schemer. I always have been. I like to take chances and go on adventures. I believe all things are possible if you want them badly enough and are willing to fight for them. Of course, I also think there is a careful balance to be found between my own will, and that of the Lord. However, I believe He wants me to be happy and therefore pursue my dreams.

Lots of people look at my life and think, "Wow, you've done so many cool things! You've traveled to so many places and you have so many friends. Your life is so exciting!"
And they are right. I have done some pretty cool stuff. I took the opportunities that came my way, and I have been very blessed.

But sometimes I think that I just keep setting myself up for disappointment. The higher you reach, the further you have to fall when someone pulls the step out from under you. The bigger the dream, the bigger the heartache when it gets squashed.

Maybe if I wasn't such a dreamer I wouldn't get so hurt. Maybe I wouldn't feel so alone. Maybe I would keep the same job for more than a year. Maybe I would actually establish myself somewhere. Maybe I could be a mom.

Is that the price of happiest? Giving up the crazy dreams for the sheer chance of stability, acceptance, real love... Or do I keep searching amongst the impossibilities?

And if I stop dreaming and scheming and fighting and believing, would I really still be me?

The Beach

A little over a year ago I was in Tampa with friends, and we decided to go to the beach at night. Ok, I decided, and my crazy-awesome friends came along for the ride. Since I hadn’t been there in a while, one of the locals took the lead. We followed him along the regular route, and all sorts of familiar territory. I was about at the point of feeling confident on my own, and thought I had figured out where we were at (I have a pretty good sense of direction). But then we came to a police barrier and had to take a detour.
Again, I followed. But I was skeptical. I did not recognize the new route. Time was passing, we were still driving and I was getting aggravated. Every few minutes I would get caught up in conversation, start singing along to the radio, and enjoying the ride. But then an unexpected turn or unfamiliar street would get me riled up again. I even began to insult our leader, thinking he was lost himself and was just leading us further away from our destination.
By the time we finally reached the beach - almost 2 hours later - I was so annoyed. I felt like he had led us on a crazy-long drive on purpose and I was so mad at him. I got out of the car biting my tongue, and stomped off to the water.
I kicked off my flip-flops as soon as I hit the sand, and within seconds I was mesmerized by the sound of the waves crashing along the shore. The wind whipped through my hair and the stars sparkled overhead as we waded in the cool springtime waters of the Gulf. All my anger and tension melted away with the complete peace and calm that I felt there on the beach. Suddenly that miserable drive was worth every second, just to enjoy a blissful hour under the stars at the beach.
On the way home we drove back the way we normally would have, and I finally got some answers. The cause of our detour had been a nasty car accident across all four lanes of the main bridge connecting the smaller island to the mainland. By the time we left they had cleared it and reopened to bridge so we could see why we had been redirected.
Only then did I realize that our friend had been guiding us to the best alternate route, albeit long, twisting, and confusing. So even though he knew the way and was trying his best to get us to the beach - and he knew how important it was to me – I didn’t understand, and got upset with the very person who was doing the most to help me. He stuck with us and led us all the way there. All I could see were unnecessary turns and the ridiculously long time it took to get there. It was different from what I knew and had planned for, so it frustrated me. I assumed I knew better instead of just trusting my guide and enjoying the drive. Fortunately for me, I still followed despite my doubts and grumbling, so I eventually made it. And in the end, it was even better that I had ever anticipated.

The next day, as I was retelling the story, I discovered an allegory in my experience. Now bear with me, but isn’t that how life is at times? You are cruising along thinking you know exactly where you are going, and you are in control. You know what you want, and it’s so close you can almost taste it! You’ve got plans and goals and you are so excited to get there. But then, all of a sudden, you hit a roadblock – inexplicably you are sent in a new direction.
You are frustrated, confused, but not alone. You have the counsel and support of wise parents, friends, and leaders to guide you. Most importantly, you have a Savior leading the way; one who has been there before and knows exactly what you need to reach your goals. He knows the desires of your heart, and even better, your individual needs. He knows your potential, and is virtually leading you by the hand through the unexpected turns and challenges of life. Yet in spite of all that assurance, you doubt, question, and even insult those who are trying the most to help you.
My life has taken several detours over the past year. It is not always what I want or expect, and it has certainly not been the easiest path. However, I know that this crazy, long, and unfamiliar path will eventually lead me to my destination. I know it will be worth every painful moment in between. Someday all the pieces will come together for me, and I will feel the total peace, satisfaction, and sheer joy of reaching my goal. Not to mention the blessing of all the amazing adventures, experiences, and friends I will am finding along the way. My ‘beach’ will be more peaceful and beautiful and happy than I could have ever anticipated, and I’ll appreciate it so much more because of the long and winding road I’m taking to get there.

Whatever your ‘beach’ is, keep holding on the way and trust in your guide. He knows what He is doing, and He will never lead you astray. And don’t forget to sing along to the music and enjoy the scenery along the way. Half the joy of the destination is found in the journey. Savor the glimpses and make the most of the moments. No matter how long it takes, we can - and must - choose to be happy along the way.

Happy...

Looks like this:

I just spent 17 days with a guy who makes me laugh, lets me cry, teaches me things, challenges me, teases me relentlessly, and is ridiculously good-looking. Every day I woke up and realized it was really happening. Yep, we traveled France and Italy together, and didn't even want to kill eachother at the end. This is dating on crack! And you pretty much have to be insane to attempt it. But we did, and it was wonderful.

I'm sure I will further elaborate on our adventures, but for now, let me share the greatest lesson I gained from these past couple weeks:
Life is meant to be lived by two. It is so much easier, and happier, when spent with another person. It is so much better to be part of a team, to lead sometimes, and to follow in others. To make decisions together. To face frustrations and opposition from 2 perspectives. Happiness is not just about the journey, but about sharing it. It's about grocery shopping, cooking, catching trains, climbing mountains, sleeping on the beach, swapping ice cream cones, taking pictures at arms length, sunsets, full moons, exhaustion, sunburn, pizza, talking till the wee small hours of the morning, kisses, crepes, laughing uncontrollably, and eating way too much chocolate.

It only took me a couple weeks to figure out what I've been skirting around for years. Not that I can't have fun, learn, and enjoy life on my own, but I have now experienced a glimpse of why we spent our lives searching for our "other half." We are incomplete alone.

Someday I'll be complete for real! For now, I treasure the glimpses:)

Dreaming the Impossible Dream

I am currently planning a roadtrip around southern France and Italy. It's only, like, 16 hours of driving through twisting, toll-scattered roads in a teeny, european rental car. Yes, I may just be insane.
But I miraculously got 6 days off work, including 4 PAID days, so now I have to go!! The only questions remaining are how much I'll actually get to see, and if my co-pilot will make it across the ocean in time to join me on this wild adventure...

My daily dose of Grey's

I have this strange new obsession with Grey's Anatomy. I never watched it in the US, but now I LOVE it, and watch it every day I can - but in french. I seriously feel like I know these people. I laugh out loud and cry with them. Perhaps it is my substitute for my real friends who are a million miles away. Or maybe it's the refreshing hour of American mentality and relationships. Or maybe I am just one of milllions sucked into the drama of Seattle Grace Hospital. Whatever it is, I can't seem to get enough!
So today I did a personality quiz and it turns out I match Cristina. I never would have guessed her, but after reading the profile, it really fits:
Very few people have, or can understand, the sheer determination and drive that propels you, but you’re just as fiercely protective of your friends as you are of your own hopes and dreams. If they’re smart, your friends already know that. They also know that you’re more vulnerable than you seem and are only glad to offer a shoulder to cry on.

Except that I would have married Burke if I were her...

Random thoughts on yoga, kids, and manly men.

*I bought a yoga mat today. I have officially converted to yoga, though I still do other work-outs too. This transition began with the fitness channel and morning yoga with Bethany. But I was scared off by a hardcore asian dude who was way too bendy. However my yoga-ness has been fortified recently thanks to the great Bob Harper - no relation:)

In my little shoebox apartment, I have just enough room for an on-the-spot work-out. Thanks to the genius people who created the Biggest Loser, I have 2 dvds that kick my trash and help me melt off the pastries - all within the constraints of my little french haven. And the best part is that Bob Harper is so good at what he does, that I really do feel like he is talking to me, and encouraging me through the work-outs. Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it! I have already noticed improvements in my flexibility, core strength, and balance with each time I do the yoga dvd. Between all the standing at work and walking in between, yoga is saving my back! Thank heaven for yoga, and Bob Harper. Love that man.

*I love kids! I love the simplicity of their joys and the innocence of their little worlds. And I love the genius things they come up with. We don't give kids enough credit. The other day, a little boy walked right up to the reception with his dad and stood on his tip toes, peeking over the counter while I checked them in. He introduced himself to me, told me about family, and even invited me to his birthday party. His name was Lenny. A stellar young man of 7 years.

Later that day, a father sat his son on the counter. The little boy instantly started talking to me, "Bonjour, ca va?" He was so sweet and confident! When I asked how old he was, he said, "2 and a half" and showed me the half with squinty eys behind his pinched thumb and forefinger. I said, "2 and a half? So almost 3 huh?" "Buh, oauh!" Which would be the english equivalent of "Yeah, of course!" Such a wit! And sooo cute!

I have similar experiences every week at church. Like the 6 yr old twins I knew before, but of course don't remember me. One of them was like, "Marie is scared of you but I'm not. Aunty knows you so it's no big deal. I'm not scared!"

The best part is that all of this took place in French. Kids are even more adorable in a foreign language. Another of my favorite things at work:)

The other things I love to watch at church are the parents. They are such wonderful people, and work so hard to teach their children what's right. They are so full of love, yet so strong! I want to be that kind of parent. I want a husband as supportive and wonderful as those men.

*And on that note, I have gained a new appreciation for manly men while living in France. Like, the kind of men that lift weights and play sports involving more than just your legs. Men who could actually defend you if necessary, instead of the other way around. Men who recognize and find fulfillment in their responsibilities as leaders, providers, and protectors without disrepecting or controlling the women in their lives. I know a lot of really awesome, manly men. They are inspiring. I hope and pray I will be worthy to marry one someday.

The crazy things I do in Paris

After a month in France, I decided I needed to see the Eiffel tower. And I wanted to wander around Notre Dame and get ice cream from this great place on Ile St. Louis. But everyone I knew was busy so I went by myself. In the metro I saw a group of guys speaking Dutch, and I got gutsy. I asked if they spoke english and if they were going to the Eiffel tower. They answered yes to both, and invited me to tag along. I spent the afternoon wandering around Paris with 5 strangers from Belgium. It was so fun! And I got my ice cream, too.

I love Paris:)

The way work should be

I once heard that a happy man is one who finds out what he loves then finds someone who will pay him to do it. Well I think I'm almost there.
I really like my current job. I work at the reception of the 2nd largest hotel in Europe: Disney's Newport Bay Club Hotel. Front desk may not seem like anything special, but I really enjoy it. My days consist of check-ins, check-outs, taking payments, exchanging foreign currency,
canceling mixed-up minibar bills, inspecting rooms, showing off our suites to potential guests, answering questions about the Disney parks, restaurants, area transportation, and giving directions for anything from the nearest bathroom to Paris tourist spots like the Moulin Rouge. All that makes for a job full of variety in spite of the repetitive nature of working in a hotel.
But the best part is the people. I work with a great team of people from Germany, Italy, France, Holland, Spain, Portugal, and Africa. Plus, just this week I helped guests from Spain, Portugal,
Italy, all over France, Canada, Hungary, Russia, Poland, Ireland, Scotland, Moldovia, England, Norway, Belgium, Germany, and Austria. So interesting...
I LOVE people. I love learning their stories, and how they came to be here, now. I LOVE culture. It's so much more than language, dress or music, it is in the way we behave towards others, our simple customs and habits. And I LOVE to laugh!! My favorite guests and fellow cast members are the ones who laugh with me. French people can be very serious and impersonal, especially parisiens, so it's always refreshing to meet someone who is relaxed and open enough to just laugh at life.

A few of my favorite experiences at work so far:
3 italian families spent a few days in our hotel. I checked them in, and somehow managed to be there when they returned with other questions 2 or 3 times throughout their stay. The trick is that it was all done in a mix of english, french, and italian to be able to understand eachother. The 3 dads were the ones who did the communicating, and it was hilarious! The best was when the 3 dads showed up at the reception the last night of their stay, saw me and were instantly laughing. "Amanda! 3 problem!" It took only a few seconds to realize what the problem was. They had been out drinkning, had no room keys, and their wives and kids were already sleeping. All this from my limited comprehension of italian, and their few words of french and english. It was awesome:)
About a week ago, a little Irish man came to the counter in search of cardboard. My french colleagues couldn't understand his thick accent, so I stepped in. Turned out that he wanted to make a sign for his granddaughter to hold up at the parade. She loved Snow White, but the only time they had found her was in the parade. So they thought if they made her a sign she might come over for a picture. We weren't busy so I cut up a box and wrote in both french and english: I love Snow White, with a big red heart. I didn't make any promises, but it was a fun project. The next evening, the grandpa - Johnny - came back with a big red kiss mark on his forehead, and a story. Snow White had come down off her float, taken a picture with the family, kissed the little girl on the cheek, and the grandad on his bald head - just like Dopey:) They were thrilled! Johnny even said he loved me, and came back the next night to introduce me to his grandbaby and say goodbye. Magical:)
This week I checked in a Canadian guy and his Hungarian fiancee. He's from Vancouver Island, but currently working with a fishfarm in Scotland. Yeah, crazy. Anyway, he kept coming back to me with his questions, etc. cuz of our common roots, so I got to chat with them everyday. They were so cute and adorably in love! It made me miss North American men and the feeling of being in love. But at the very least, I got to help make their holiday a little happier.

I forgot how it felt to really enjoy your job. I go home each night mentally and physically exhausted, yet completely content. It is challenging, yet fulfilling. I have been blessed to have a number of very diverse work experiences. None that specifically require my formal education, but in all of which I have used my training and knowledge. I would love to be able to take all that education and experience home to just being a mom, but for now I must keep working to provide for myself and progressing as an individual. But as long as I must work, I want to enjoy it. I realize now more than ever what I need in a job. I need human interaction, I need variety, and I need to be on the move. And for now, I have all three. I feel so blessed!

As for the personal side of my life... nothing to report. I guess I only get one aspect at a time:)

Sunday Sunshine... on Tuesday

In the style of the other Amy, I am dedicating this entry to all the wonderful things in my life that have been brought very directly to my attention today.

“Good cheer is a state of mind or mood that promotes happiness or joy... With God’s help, good cheer permits us to rise above the depressing present or difficult circumstances. It is a process of positive reassurance and reinforcement. It is sunshine when clouds block the light." -- Marvin J. Ashton, "Be of Good Cheer", Ensign, May 1986, 66

I love taking the sacrament. Today I got to take it twice when I visited another ward after my own, and I was reminded what a precious ordinance it is. Every week we have the opportunity to reflect on our lives, recognize our mistakes and weaknesses and commit anew to be better and stronger and happier the next week. We get a fresh start plus a little extra reminder to help us keep the promises we made when we were baptized.

I love people! And I saw so many that I love at church today. It is amazing to me how you just connect with some people and even though you may not see them for years, you love them more than ever and talk like you were never apart. I love that. Another side of that is how you can connect so quickly with some people that it feels like you’ve known each other for years. I’m telling you, the pre-existence must have been such a party!

Sunshine. Real actual rays from the sun that pushed through even the thickest grey, French clouds, to warm both body and spirit.

Missionary work rocks. How amazing it is that I am a member of the true church of Jesus Christ where every person who has or ever will live has their own opportunity to partake of the blessings of His great plan and atoning sacrifice? Awesome! And there are so many people from so many different places here that have no idea; they are seeking fulfillment in their lives but don’t know where to look. Civilian missionary work is so cool. I have so much more freedom to go wherever and built relationships to help people learn of the gospel truths. And there’s no fear or obligation involved, it’s just part of who I am, and I get to share it: )

Flirting with boys makes me happy. Most of that has been done at long distance since I got here (which is ok cuz he’s worth it!). Though I’ve met a few decent guys, generally speaking, people are very distant here. But I already have common ground with the boys at church. It really does me so much good to flirt! I’m sure most of you are rolling your eyes and shaking your heads, but seriously, I think it is really emotionally healthy to flirt with the opposite sex every so often. It makes you feel confident and pretty. It gives you an opportunity to laugh and smile, and make another person smile too. Girls need to feel pretty. Guys need to feel confident. A little innocent flirtation accomplishes that. I think even marriages would be happier if you just flirted a little more with your spouse. As for follow-through… I leave that to personal discretion. I won’t be doing much since they’re all so young, but I’ll keep flirting:)

Families are the heart and soul of everything good in this world, and the greatest witness to the truth and power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have re-found so many wonderful families here. The kids have grown, and a few more have joined the troupe. Others have grown up and left to start their own families. I know they all have their struggles and frustrations, but they are coming to church and teaching their children to love God and each other, and they show it in their every action. And on top of all that, they love and include me, so that even a million miles from home, I am with family.

Plants are fascinating to me. There is something about seeing something grow, expand and change that gives me so much hope for each day. I love ma petite plante. (Shout out to my weed babysitter in Florida: thank you Hannah for keeping my plants alive. Someday that dang orchid will bloom again!)

Sleep is a beautiful thing. I used to get away with 4-6 hours in Florida. There was just so much to do, I just kept going! (Mind you, that’s also how I ended up miserably sick in bed for a week…) Anyway, here, my body simply won’t let me do that. If I get less than 8 hours a might, my body will crash. Example: I worked early every day this week. I also went out with friends 3 times (a new record). Well, Friday night I had three different invitations and had every intention to go out. I sat down on my bed for a few minutes to relax before, and the next thing I know, it was 2 am. I passed out cold, fully dressed, with the lights on and Jason Mraz crooning from my laptop. Apparently I was tired! I also took a 3-hour nap today, so my body is much happier with me now. Yay for Sunday naps :)

A good haircut can change the world! I have a great haircut, thanks to a great stylist back in Orlando (woohoo Emily!). In fact, I have had many great haircuts over the past year, mostly because when I need a change, I get a haircut! But haircuts are expensive here, and I want to grow my hair out a little. Sadly, the wind and humidity here have not been kind to my hair, and I haven’t really felt pretty – at all – since I got here. I know, lame. Anyway, last night I cut myself some bangs. It may seem like a simple thing, but it changed things just enough to help me feel downright sassy today. I’m telling you, the right haircut can make a world of difference, and even a little change is a great thing.

I am not alone. Isn’t it strange how one can feel so alone in a city of millions? I have a wonderful family I still talk to regularly. I have so many awesome friends who write me notes and keep me going. And even here, I am reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. But in the midst of all that, I am alone a lot more than I ever have been before. I am starved for in-depth, personal, long conversation – one of my favorite things ever. I am worn down from trying to communicate in several different languages, deciphering the bizarre realm that is working in France, and trying to please everyone. It’s exhausting! And at the end of the day I find myself on my own with my Grey’s Anatomy men, and my daydreams of home. But today at church I felt so much love I couldn’t stop smiling! And as I listened to my Sunday songs while preparing dinner, a song spoke the simplest words, but they seemed to step straight into my heart and radiate from the inside out. I stopped where I was, just listened and cried. He loves me, He knows me, and I am where I am supposed to be. I have so much light in my life. I will receive the blessings he has promised me, and I will be able to share these lessons with my own companion and children someday. I’m not alone. My prayers are always heard. I just have to hold on, the light will come.

Yay for Sundays! They are always great, but especially here and now, today was a beautiful blessing. Sunday was made to power you up for the rest of the week. Mission accomplished :)