Thursday, September 4, 2008

A Priceless Jewell

Have you ever read the book or seen the movie 'The Bridge to Terabithia'? It is a beautiful story of two good kids having a tough time with life who find each other and create their own little world together. They learn to love and help one another and become better people as they develop their own gifts and discover a place where they are the rulers, and no one can crush them. This theme is especially precious when (SPOILER ALERT!) one of these dear friends passes away unexpectedly. Losing her is awful and yet he has learned so much from her that he carries on her dreams and her legacy by sharing the magical world they created.


This is just a wonderful story on its own, but today it touched me very closely. See, one of my best friends passed away last Friday. Jewell Aurora Milam was 26; a wife of six years, mother to two of the most beautiful children ever created, a supportive and loving sister and daughter, and a kind, fun-loving, loyal friend. We met on our very first day of college, walking home from orientation, and just hit it off. We clicked – like we were destined to be friends. We got excited about the same things, we understood each other’s humor and thought processes; we just fit. We were definitely very different and yet so much was the same. We saw each other through highs, lows, happiness and heartache. We could talk for hours, about anything and everything, and even after time apart, we would always just pick right back up where we left off.

About a month ago I went to visit with and say goodbye to my dear friend. And today I got home from attending her funeral. It was awful to see the hearse and casket and feel the reality sink in. It was heartbreaking to see her big, strong husband hunched over in tears. BUT – it was absolutely wonderful to see so many people come together to celebrate her brief but beautiful life. It was so comforting to hear words spoken of a loving Savior and an all-encompassing, infinite atonement; then of a plan for eternal progression prepared by a wise father in heaven. It was encouraging to think of the promises of eternity. And it was strengthening to feel the embrace of so many individuals I have the blessing to know and love because of this precious woman that touched us all.

It was a perfectly beautiful, cool but sunny day. We looked at pictures and read her own scrapbook commentaries and shared stories. We sang and heard some of her favorite music, while surrounded by some of her favorite flowers, and of course lots and lots of pink;) Her body was laid in a peaceful cemetery on a hill, shaded by lots of tall trees, including spruce, her favorite. There were many tears, but also many grateful and reminiscent smiles.

I will be forever grateful for the nearly eight years I had the privilege to have such a beautiful soul as my best friend. She taught me to get excited about the simple things, to dance and laugh and love like nothing else matters. She had weaknesses and struggles like everyone else, but she did her best to face them and fight when she could, and let go when she couldn’t, but she wouldn’t lose the lesson. She loved to play and party and just be happy with whatever the adventure was that day. She was a true gem of a person – a jewel that could light up the sky, just like her name:)

Over the past few months as she came to terms with her situation, she never lost faith in God’s plan for her, and his divine purposes in all things. She said she knew it was all for a reason, and we all needed to learn something from her situation. She didn’t understand why but she knew that someday it would all make sense, and that either way everything would be ok.

Marvin J. Ashton once said:"Being of good cheer makes it possible for us to turn all our sunsets into sunrises." I think "good cheer" perfectly describes Jewell's approach to life. Now is the sunset on her life, but she has left us with so many beautiful sunrises and potential for new beginnings.

And that brings me back to Terabithia. To see that special place you had to stop worrying about reality, “close your eyes and keep your mind wide open.” A song over the closing credits said, “tomorrow’s horizons, full of surprises – don’t let them take your dream away.” You could be your very best there, with nothing else holding you back – but you had to choose to believe. And then you had to share the dream and look to the future.

We cannot control what life may bring our way. We don’t know what we will be called to endure, or what blessings lie in store. But we can decide how we will live along the way and how we will handle whatever comes. We can believe, trust, dance, love, laugh, adventure, dream, and choose to see something more. I have always been very passionate about living life to its fullest but Jewell taught me to see every moment that way. And her short life has inspired me to focus on the really important things, and not waste my time with diversions. I cannot bring her back, but I can keep her legacy alive by sharing who she was and believing in dreams, like she did. I won't forget her; I'll live better each day because of what she taught me. Our friendship can last forever if I live like she would. More than ever, I want to keep my mind wide open to all the possibilities and live every day the best that I can. I will choose to be happy, to believe and dream.
But not just for me - I’ll do it for Jewell.