Its the most wonderful time of the year!

I don't like being cold. Although it is beautiful, I don't much like snow either. However, I love the month of December for many reasons. First of all, because for this month of the year the whole world takes time off work, give gifts, serves, sings, and makes an extra effort, all in celebration of the birth of our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. Even the ones who don't believe in Him celebrate him in some way or another. Awesome huh? :)

It's the one month of the year that it is totally ok to be Christian, to declare your faith, and to talk about the greatest man that ever lived. Now, I firmly believe that this is something we should be able to do ever day, and I certainly try to. However, in December, nearly the whole world does - regardless of their faith or lack thereof. And in a world of "politically correct"-ness I think it is fantastic that everyone gets involved in some way or another. How can you be offended by love, charity and happy season's greetings? So I proudly, gratefully, and happily proclaim a very Merry Christmas to all the world - whether you believe in him or not!

Another reason is that in December, everything sparkles! I love the glitter and lights of Christmas. There are lights everywhere, smiles everywhere and the love is almost tangible! There is a whole new spirit brought by this beautiful, glimmering ambiance, and I LOVE it!! This year, I am doubly blessed because I finally got to see the lights on Temple Square - in the fog and then the snow which made them extra sparkly - and I get to see the frosty Cinderella's castle and the dancing lights on New York Street at Walt Disney World. The best lights in the world, and I saw them on both sides of the country. BEAUTIFUL!!

And then there's the music. Nothing beats the feeling of singing Christmas carols! It seems that no matter who is singing, the spirit of love, gratitude, and peace fill the air and warm the soul :) This year I was blessed to be a part of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Christmas concert (on the costuming end). The choir is amazing, and I also attended the rehearsal with David Archuleta. I must admit, his voice is dreamy, and he's just a really nice guy. On top of that, I heard a few talented high school choirs perform at the Assembly hall, and sang with my own Institute choir.

That's David rehearsing with Mack Wilberg and MoTab. I have a fun video too!

 

I made their headpieces :)

Then I arrived in Florida just in time to sing in the ward Christmas program. My amazing friend Hannah coordinated the music, and it was absolutely beautiful. I cannot begin to describe the spirit that poured through that sacred music. I felt so much love, for and from my Savior, and for all the good people around me. Thank you Han, for letting me be a part of it :)

And finally, Christmas is about people. Family, friends, or strangers, it seems everyone smiles a little brighter, gives a little more, and hopefully worries a little less. Although I am far away from my fabulous family - my awesome parents, siblings, nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins - I am with my stellar sister Celeste, my bestest friend Kjersti, and so many old and new wonderful friends. Near and far, I love you all and I am so grateful for every wonderful part you have played in my life!

I am so, so blessed at this most beautiful, happy, wonderful time of the year! I know I owe it all to my Savior, Jesus Christ, who was born in the most humble circumstances, lived a sinless life, took the weight of the world's pain and mistakes upon Him, died and was resurrected.... All so that we can experience the journey of mortality and qualify to return to our Father in heaven. Amazing! Beautiful! Happy! 

           

Merry Christmas one and all!!

For it is in giving that we receive. - St. Francis of Assisi

I love the Christmas season so much! I love the sparkling lights, the smells of pine trees and yummy food, singing Christmas carols and sacred music. I love the many excuses to play in the snow, socialize and eat :) More than anything, I love that everyone seems to pause to recognize this special time of year, even if they do not fully understand the event at it's origin.
What I don't love is Christmas present shopping. I am terrible at it! I really struggle with obligatory gifts like Christmas and birthdays. I am more the type to see something that makes me think of a person, and I just buy it - regardless of the occasion - because it meets a desire or need right then and there. Why must it only be at these designated occasions that we give?

I never know who exactly I am expected to buy for and I struggle to know what to get. Especially since I am currently a very broke grad student living off borrowed funds. And I really don't like generic gifts. I would rather receive nothing but a heartfelt note or warm hug than a random gift I do not want or need, simply because it is Christmas. I appreciate the gesture but it seems silly to me. I look at my gift giving the same way. If it is forced and superficial, it is meaningless.

And so I propose we look at giving a little differently. Instead of the random gift baskets, fruitcakes and ties, let us give our smiles, our listening ears, a warm embrace, an evening out, a clean home, a shoveled walk or a home-cooked me. Let us share the greatest give we can have in this life - the gospel of Jesus Christ. Let us celebrate his birth and the incredible gifts he gave us by giving of ourselves. And why must it only be at Christmas or birthdays? May we have eyes to recognize the opportunities to give, and hearts to open up and share of ourselves - not only at Christmas, but all year long!

And he sings too...

So remember how I love Zachary Levi? Well I do. If I ever got to meet him, I'm pretty sure we would become great friends, and he might just love me too. For now, he simply makes me swoon as a nerdishly suave cartoon character, (if you haven't seen Tangled yet, GO! It is my new favorite Disney movie) and to make things even better, he really sings!

Check out this fabulous song with the uber talented Katherine McPhee. Love it :)

Successful Failure

A friend once taught me something that changed my perspective on life. He called it "successful failure." He reasoned that there are no real failures in our lives because each set-back can teach or prepare us for something amazing we might have never found otherwise. However the success we find depends on our attitude toward our failure.

Several months ago I flew out to Montreal to interview with Disney Cruise Line. I had worked and waited for months for this opportunity, and yet as soon as I interviewed, I knew it wasn't right for me.

As I left the interview, my first thought was, "What a wasted trip! All this time and expense for nothing!" Then directly following was the internal retort, "No, it hasn't been wasted. It was a great weekend, and I needed to have this experience to choose for myself. I needed to reach a turning point and start a new chapter in my life. This was a successful failure."

I was offered the job, and I turned it down. I wasn't rejected, I simply recognized that it was time to take my life in a different direction. I chose to fail.

Our hotel was located right in the heart of the city, on the metro stop Bonaventure. That means "good adventure" in French. I think my trip to Montreal was just that, a good adventure. I got to explore a city I have wanted to visit for years. I met some fabulous people, flirted with some nice guys, and spoke some French. I also got back into working out, and had some really good talks with my mom. It was by no means a wasted trip. I loved Montreal, and I feel like the realizations were well worth the expense. A completely successful failure.

Then in late September I auditioned to dance in the Christmas concert for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And I made it! I was so excited to dance again. I was thrilled for the rehearsal process, the physical demands, the costumes, the stage! However, one of my classes conflicted with the rehearsal schedule and I had to drop out. Grad school is my priority right now, and I couldn't neglect my studies for a chance to dance. I chose to fail.

This choice has allowed me to have the free time to take on a number of other projects, including supporting my best friend and her family through a very difficult time. I've also joined the costume team for the Christmas concert where I have rekindled and improved some old skills and earn a little extra money while still being a part of the show. Plus, I am applying to a totally different department in order to change to another grad program that I finally feel great about. Ironically, this means that I don't even need the class that prevented me from dancing. However, so much else has happened that couldn't have otherwise, and I get to fly to Orlando the day before the performances which means a cheaper flight and longer stay. Totally successful failure.

In both cases, I thought I knew what I wanted, and I worked so hard to make it happen. Yet when the offer came, I walked away - for nothing but the dream of something else. I suppose that's what faith is, and that just might be what makes the difference.

All things happen for  a reason - including our failures. It's up to us to find the success in them.

Another day, another engagement

I have a love-hate relationship with facebook. Some days it brings me so much joy to communicate with and celebrate the good news of friends.  But sometimes I find out things that break my heart, or just distract and depress me.

And nearly every day, there is another status change, or "We're getting married" group. My reactions to these vary. Sometimes it's a "Good for them!" or "Cute!!" or "So happy!"
Other times I think, "There really is someone for everyone..."

But every once in a while the dreary thought that drags across my mind is, "He/she has found someone to love them for forever, what's wrong with me?!?" What does it feel like to actually have a ring on your finger and know you are going to be with this person forever? You have chosen him and he has chosen you. Although I have come close in a few relationships, and I've been ready more than once, I've never felt that mutual affirmation of an official engagement. And sometimes I wonder if I ever will.

I know that's not healthy. I know the Lord has a plan for me, and He keeps telling me that it includes marriage and motherhood, but sometimes it's just hard to remember that.

Someday my relationship status will change and I'll get to make my own address collection! In the meantime, I'm getting a lot of practice writing the word "congratulations" in all sorts of languages:)

Simply grateful

I am so blessed! I live a wonderful life. Occasionally reality sinks in, quickly and deeply, and the stress gets to be a little much to deal with. So I count my blessings, one by one, and suddenly it is so easy to be happy :)

I have an awesome family! They support me, counsel me, laugh with me, love me, and keep me in line. They are unique, intelligent, funny, spiritual, and simply wonderful people who are examples to me in so many ways. They have helped me become the person I am. And I miss them like crazy!

I have so many fabulous friends, all over the world. They make me smile and keep life interesting and exciting. They give me great excuses to travel :) In the midst of these, I have a few sincere and remarkably loyal friends who keep me afloat when the storms of life get a little intense.

I have a strong, healthy body. I have energy, I can run and dance and play! I am stronger than most girls and I have the self-discipline to train and tone my body. I am not a supermodel or a twig, but I am curvy, feminine, and comfortable with myself. Plus, I'm a redhead. What more can I say?

I live in a happy, classy little apartment with a free gym and a swimming pool. I live with one of my very best friends. I also have my own room. It's my little haven from the world.

I have a bed :)

I am part of the greatest singles ward in Utah, where I feel loved, included, and appreciated. They are my surrogate family and wonderful friends.

My life is filled with good music and entertainment that uplifts, inspires, and helps me forget about my worries for a moment.

I have a shiny black laptop named Chuck and free wireless Internet connection almost everywhere I go.

I have access to 7 temples within an hour driving radius.

Every challenge, struggle, depression, loss, betrayal, pain, or rejection I have ever experienced has been followed by an outpouring of love, success, encouragement, healing, improvement, strength, or joy. Not immediately, mind you, but it comes.
My car may just be a Ford Focus, but it has power windows and locks, functional a/c, and a sunroof :)

I love my classes. I am dancing again. I go on dates fairly often. I am not allergic to chocolate!

But most importantly, I am a daughter of God with divine beauty and potential in my soul. I am a member of the true, restored church of Jesus Christ on the earth today. I have felt the Holy Ghost witness this truth and I have had so many other experiences to remind me of what I know. I have made promises to my God that will bless and exalt me, all I have to do is keep my end. I know there are prophets on the earth again and I am led by revelation, both general and personal. Isn't all that simply awesome!?!

I am so, so blessed!!!
What are you thankful for...?

"Chuck Bartowski? Paging Chuck Bartowski..."

This summer my brother, by way of my other brother, introduced me to my new favorite TV show, CHUCK. It's about a regular guy who, in a strange twist of fate, gets roped into becoming a spy. Now, I am generally not much of a TV watcher. I hate commercials, I hate waiting a week to find out what happens next, and I hate having to be home at a certain time to watch it. My parent's don't even have TV at their house! But I simply love CHUCK! And fortunately for me, we were a few seasons behind in catching on to the CHUCK phenomenon, so we watched it all on DVD.

It became my summer tradition to watch Chuck with my dad and my brother Stephen, projected in our living room (forget flat screen, we had a whole wall!). Talk about the best kind of bonding with my nerdy brother and dad!! It's just not the same without them. In fact, when Dad went out of town for a few days, Stephen made me wait to watch any more episodes!

Recently, I went home for a few days on a break from school. Since season 3 had just come out, we borrowed my roommates copy and had a 5 day CHUCK marathon to get through season 3 before I left. Not only was it an AWESOME season, full of great stories, new characters, and suspenseful plot twists, but I got to watch it with my very own Nerd Herd :) And let me tell you what, watching with them is like living an action movie at the same time!

I've heard it said that CHUCK has such universal appeal is because guys find the title character relatable and women find him adorable. And I tell you, it is true!! Plus it has this genius blend of comedy and action, with the just the right amount of eye candy and sexual tension to keep things interesting.

If you have not seen it, come on over, I'll gladly re-watch it with you :) I seriously love this show! I love all the zany characters! And it seems all my favorite people love the CHUCK crew too. Until I find my own Chuck, my dates have to pass the CHUCK test. Don't like my show? Kind of a deal breaker.



And may I just add that if Mr. Zachary Levi is anywhere near as adorably nerdy as his fictional counterpart (and I've heard he is), I would gladly have him save my world - or my computer - any day ;)

2 whole years

Exactly two years ago my life turned upside down. I think someone was trying to tell me something. Something along the lines of "You're not the one in control! I know better, just trust me!"

The horrible cold turned flu turned rare virus and subsequent 4 days in bed didn't get it through my head, nor did any of the other trials of that year. So He used a dopey border guard and a misunderstanding to help pull me out of Florida, turn me around, and put me on the path He wanted me to be on.

And it has been two years since...

Not quite sure I've truly found that path yet, but at least I've learned to let Him take the wheel!

Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?

"It's like meeting the man of your dreams
 then meeting his beautiful wife."

Remember a few months back when I wrote about a little crush I had on a certain semi-celebrity? (refresh your memory here) Well, I am still somewhat dazed by the whole thing, but a few weeks ago, I ran into him. Turns out we have some common friends. Not even kidding!!!

I walked into my friends very crowded apartment, and found myself face to face with this amazing guy. And yes, he is just as attractive in person. As soon as I realized it was him, I had a little inner freak-out and thought, "This is it! I'm meeting him! It might actually happen!"

Then, in the 30 seconds that followed, I noticed the thrilled commotion of my friend with a girl nearby, put all the pieces together, and came back down to reality. The beautiful girl with the huge diamond engagement ring, was this man's fiancee, and they were getting married 2 weeks later.

Fortunately, I did nothing to embarrass myself. I figured it all out on my own and kept all my instantaneous excitement and disappointment to myself. But a little part of me was crying.

It wasn't so much that I would cry over this random stranger, but rather what he represented for me. See, even though I had never met him before, he gave me hope. Hope that intelligent, righteous, good-looking single men close to my age still exist out there, and I might possibly find one who'll want to keep me. And in the moment I met him and then learned of his impending wedding, I felt like that hope faded a little. Strange, I know.

One the bright side, he found his forever! And she is around my age, a returned missionary and a redhead... go figure! I actually got to attend their wedding reception with our mutual friend. Yep, weird again. And yet, it was so fun and happy!! Seeing them together renewed my hope. They are two mature, good, beautiful people who have each been through their own trials of patience and plenty of heartache along the way. And they made it to the next step!

So yes, there is still hope for me. Just not sure when or how I will ever find it! I guess that's where faith steps in.

"Isn't it ironic...? Life has a funny way of helping you out..."

Dancing through Life

I am a dancer. I hear music and I have to move! However, I quit formal training when I was only 15 and never went very far with it. I still dance socially whenever I can, but I feel like this summer has been a true return to dancing for me.

First of all, I started going to a zumba class once or twice a week. I can think of no more fabulous way to stay in shape than dancing to high-energy, Latin-inspired tunes. So fun! And the best part was that one week, my instructor complimented me on my rhythm and smooth moves. She said, "I know you are a dancer, because not everyone can move their hips like you do!" Considering how long it has been and the extra weight I've added since, that was so nice to hear. Maybe my curves just amp up my moves.lol

I also got to be a part of the dance troupe for the luau I helped plan. It was so interesting and fun to learn different styles of Polynesian dance, and after all that hip-shaking, my abs were looking great!

And then I got to spend 2 fantastic weeks at EFY, where I not only learned the EFY line dances, but I got to dance my little heart out twice a week at the dances with my kids. Let's just say it was my ideal job and I wish i could do it all year long!

I learned new styles of dance, remembered some old stuff, and learned choreography. And I have to say I am dang good at it!! I pick things up very quickly, and somehow manage to retain it when others forget. Performing at the luau, getting my groove on at zumba, and letting loose at EFY all made me feel like a million bucks! I feel so very blessed to have such wonderful opportunities to rediscover something I love so much!

So now I've been dance free for about a month... I'm feeling a little bit deprived. Time to find a new spot and new groovin' friends :)

HEELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO LA LA LAAAA!!!

Hi. Just wanted to let you know that I am not dead. Quite alive in fact. I have now lived in Salt Lake City, Utah for about 2 weeks and things are getting better all the time.

I had a most eventful and completely wonderful summer, filled with amazing new friends and experiences that quite literally changed me. I have every intention of sharing these adventures with you, however I am still laptop-less and a little overwhelemed by the transition back to school.

So, give me a couple more weeks and I'll be back on top of things with so many awesome stories to share! And then I'll even have time to catch up on YOUR stories too!!

Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for still checking in occasionally. I am so blessed to know so many fabulous people :) Till next time!

In the past decade...

I recently volunteered to take over the planning of my 10-year high school reunion. For a graduating class of 44 people, that is not any exceptionally difficult task, and we all know how I love party planning! Getting in touch with all these people after so long has been very interesting. There is this little tiny part of me that wishes I had a family to show off too. But most of me is just so happy to have done so many amazing things!

Since I graduated from Kitscoty High School (yep, that's me back in 2000), I have:

• had 8 different full-time jobs
• performed in 4 stage productions
• fallen in love four times and had my heart broken just as many
• visited 10 countries; 3 by myself
• gone to Disneyland, Disney World, and Disneyland Paris about a billion times
• learned fluent French
• welcomed 2 more nephews into the world
• played bridesmaid 3 times; twice in pink!
• lived with more than 80 different roommates
• lost one of my best friends to cancer
• overcame my fear of ocean life and cuddled up to a dolphin
• caught 2 bridal bouquets
• received my endowment
• attended 14 different temples
• had major dental surgery and braces
• earned an Associate of Science and a Bachelor of Arts, and was accepted to graduate school!
• served a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
• explored 15 states
• put my feet in 7 major bodies of water: the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, the Gulf of Mexico, the Mediterranean sea, the Adriatic sea, the North sea, and the Dead sea.
• cut my hair super short twice, and donated it to Locks of Love
• dressed as Tinker Bell for Halloween 3 times
• appeared in a press photo and on Quebecois TV riding a Segway at Disney World
• eaten alligator, guinea pig, rabbit, frog's legs, escargot and alpaca meat, among many other international treats
• helped renovate 2 houses
• been to the top of the Eiffel Tower 3 times
• worked for the Mouse on 2 continents
• met thousands of amazing people including the best friends I have ever known

AWESOME. And it's only 2010! Let's see where the next 10 years will take me!

So speaks the geek

Looks like all my brother's nerdfests have paid off. He has a YouTube channel (blueskymaller)and has been making videos on a pretty regular basis lately. He is actually a very creative guy and seems to have a knack for these short videos. They may be a little random, but they are so much more intelligent than the stupid videos of people dancing like idiots or ranting about insignificant things. At least, that's what I think. See for yourself:





Maybe someday we'll track down the Croc Hunter videos he made when he was 7. I'm telling you, this guy's got potential.

Thank you sir!

I am grateful for men who are secure and devoted enough in their own marriages to their awesome wives that they can give a sincere compliment to a single gal like me, with no strings attached. That's all :)

Another 'Bachelor' bites the dust

Just heard that Jake and Vienna have broken up. Can you say, 'I told you so'?

That makes 13 failed relationships as a product of that ridiculous show. In fact the only actual marriage was with a runner-up... The similarly themed Bachelorette show is currently 2 for 5.

So what does this tell you about dating in the artificial reality created on these shows? That it DOES NOT WORK. It may be entertaining for the love-sick who like to sit at home and watch other people's fantasy lives instead of living their own, however it is a really sad way of messing with people's emotions on national television.

But hey, who am I to judge? Each of these people were consenting adults who willingly put their lives and emotions on the televised chopping block. Maybe they are the desperate ones, unwilling to work and wait for love like the rest of us. At least they each got their 5 minutes of fame, though I can't say I want the reputations they have earned themselves with millions of people who don't even know them.

As for this most recent failure, I'm not so sure that Jake is the Captain Amazing we thought him to be at the start. Doesn't take long for the true colors to show, huh?

Pretty sure that when Jake said things like:

"I have a successful life, and live in a nice home, but it means nothing if I can't share it with someone."

What he really meant was:

"I just wanna get some. A lot actually. With lots of women who look like supermodels and are constantly throwing themselves at me. Yep."

Then he tried to pull the wool over our eyes with sweet stuff most guys would never say, like:

"I'm not looking for the most beautiful girl. I'm looking for the most beautiful heart."

and

"Love is perfect, it endures."

Gag me. How did we let his excessive sentimentality fool us? Maybe he should go into showbiz. Looks like he has a knack for acting.

How about this one:

"Nice guys don't finish last. Nice guys just have to wait a little longer sometimes."

Well Jake, time to prove you really are a nice guy and look for love the old-fashioned way, just like everyone else.

Oh this show just makes me sad! Yet at the same time, I am so grateful that I can be happily single and hopeful for real love and friendship in the future. I don't have to join a competition to get a husband, nor do I have to sit at home watching some melodramatic show and dreaming about Mr.Right. I can just live! And I know he'll show up eventually :)

You know what's cool?

I have been so busy and productive with so many different projects lately, that I hardly have time to count my blessings, nevermind worry about what I lack! I feel great! I am energized through the limited sleep, and I smile through the pain of my messed up back because everything I am doing is so valuble and rewarding :)
The best part is that I don't have time to be lonely! I am surrounded by good people, and we are working together to bring about great things for other good people. (although I do owe some catch-up phone calls to many of my dear far-away friends.... I have not forgotten, promise!)
And every so often I get in a random episode on DVD to remind me that cute guys like Finn and Chuck and Clark and Jim exist out there (at least in TV land), and someday I'll have one around. But I simply don't have time to think about that right now! Isn't that awesome?!

Hope Floats

It has been the theme of my year. (check it) We have had hope for Haiti, hope for change, and hope for a cure. I cannot escape this word and all that it represents in my life right now!

I found this rock on my visit to Utah a few months ago, in a shop devoted to free trade and empowering local producers all over the world. It has this beautiful word etched into it by hand.

I now work for an amazing organization, Habitat for Humanity, who's motto is 'Building homes. Building hope.' This experience has been enough to warrant a post of it's own!

And a few weeks ago, I attended the Relay for Life all-night fundraiser in our town. It was the culminating night of a campaign to raise money for cancer research; bringing together survivors, families, and an entire community in the celebration of life and the battle against cancer. Though it was a chilly night with drizzly rain that turned into snow by morning, it was a beautiful reminder of all the reasons I have to hope.

At one point, I walked alone around the lake where all the tribute luminaries were lined up along the path. There were hundreds of lights representing hundreds of souls who lost their battles with cancer. My thoughts turned to all the wonderful people I have lost to this impossible, unpredictable disease. I was so full of love for the cancer heroes in my own life, and at the same time, felt so much sorrow and frustration for the injustice of their passing. Cancer is one illness I will never understand, nor will I even try. It simply doesn't make any sense. Young, perfectly heath-conscious people die of cancer everyday while chain smokers of forty years live to be a hundred. It seams to me that cancer is one of God's ways of forcing us to let go and turn to Him. Because no matter how hard we fight, if he decides it's time, it is time, and there is nothing we can do to stop it.

As I looked across the lake, I saw a few luminaries arranged in the form of my theme word. My heart lifted again. I wiped the tears from my eyes and thought back to all the beautiful moments I shared with my best friend, my grandfather, and so many other good people who were taken by cancer. I was overcome with gratitude for them, and for the tiny slice of life I got to share with each one of them. And then I felt an even greater gratitude and love for the life I have been given and the people who are a part of it now.

Life is so fragile and fleeting, and yet I am here, now with all the opportunities and possibilities in the world laying out ahead of me. In spite of all the injustice and pain, that simple and powerful thought fills my heart with HOPE!!

Island Fever

As the Marketing and Events Coordinator (nice title huh? I made it up myself.lol) for Habitat for Humanity this summer, I am working on a Polynesian luau dinner show as a fundraiser. We have had an amazing response from the community, and local businesses have been so generous in their donations of time and services.

Since I want this event to be both authentic and amazing, I have been up to my ears in research on Polynesian food, dancing, customs, language, dress, history, etc. Suddenly I am trying to learn 3 different island languages, I'm fantasizing about tropical vacations and work exchange programs to these beautiful places, and most of all, I have been mesmerized by the culture. I just want to go there and experience it all! Where, you ask? For starters: Hawaii, Tahiti, New Zealand, Tonga, Fiji, Samoa, Easter Island, the Philippines, and then every little island in between.

And I think I need to find myself a Polynesian man... or at least a hot rugby player with an appreciation for culture ;)


Can you blame me??

When did I become a hippy?

My sweetener of choice is honey.
My lotion must have aloe, cocoa butter, natural oils, and nothing I can't pronounce.
My cookies must be freshbaked and preferably whole grain, processed foods taste so... fake.
Cotton is vital to my wardrobe, polyester has very little place there.
I try to recycle just about everything I can.
My meat and eggs are all locally farm-grown.

How on earth am I going to survive on a student budget now that I understand more, and actually care what I am giving my body??

Utah... who knew?

As many of you already know, I have been accepted to the Master's program in Educational Psychology at the University of Utah. I am both thrilled and nervous about beginning this new phase of my life.

When I returned to Canada last October, reality hit harder than ever. Although I had had some amazing experiences, all I had to show for it were a few thousand photos and an empty bank account. I was lost as to how to proceed with my life, or what I even wanted to do. Though I enjoyed working in tourism and event planing, I knew that these were neither meaningful nor sustainable careers. When the economy slows down, the luxury spending on vacations and parties are among the first things to go. I needed more stability than that. I also wanted to feel like what I did was making a difference, so instead of making a few kids happy for a day, maybe I could help build them up for life...

All that, along with my love for communication and education, led me to teaching. This is something I can do as a mother, that will help with my own kids, and if nothing else, I can teach and nurture children now, while I wait for my own. With the world getting more harsh and difficult every day, I want to empower kids to be their best and to love goodness. I believe so many lost souls could have made it if someone had believed in them.

Since my undergrad was in Communication, I next had to find a Master's program that included teaching certification. If I am going to spend another 2 years in school to certify, then I might as well get a Master's degree too!

I narrowed down the areas I wanted to live to Florida, Texas, D.C., or Utah. I wanted to be close to friends, and preferably in a warmer climate (although almost anything is warmer than Canada!) The Florida deadlines were all too early to make. Texas didn't really have the program I needed. UVU didn't accept international students to their teaching program. Then I discovered the degree at the University of Utah. It seemed ideal for my goals, gave me a more legit degree than just a Master's of Teaching, and was right down the road from plenty of good friends.

The GRE was miserable, the application process was long and complicated, and the preparation stressful. However, I got everything in on time, and proceeded to spend the next month traveling and playing with some of my favorite American friends.

By mid-April I was getting antsy, so I got online to check my status. It said "Admitted." I read that page over and over, afraid it was going to change or something. Then a week later, I got a letter in the mail with the same exciting news. I got in! They want me! And suddenly the reality of this commitment began to sink in.

There are a few things about this whole scheme that really showed a divine hand guiding me through - and it's a good thing, cuz I have had my doubts! First of all, I got in! It is a competitive program at a great university, and I am no genius. Obviously they think I am up to it though, so I best believe in myself too.

Second, I have never wanted to live in Utah, in fact, I think I have fairly successfully avoided it, until now. It is a beautiful place to visit, but I have had a little too many negative experiences with some arrogant, ignorant, "Utards" as they say. Please forgive the slang, but I see this as a whole different breed from the Utahans I totally respect and adore. I just feel like a lot of people who live there take so much for granted. They have created this "holier than thou" attitude, when in many cases, they haven't got the backbone or base of testimony to survive anywhere but "Zion." That being said, may I reapeat that some of my favorite people, whom I love and admire the most are from Utah, and do not fit this mold at all. But those other ones had me scared off. I have come to realize that I will find ignorant, selfish people anywhere I go. Instead of worrying about dealing with them, perhaps I can focus on destroying that stereotype, and being my best self in spite of them. Plus, I am actually pretty excited about being in a city surrounded by the serenity and adventure of the mountains, while also being a major center filled with culture, professional sports, temples, restaurants, and a major airport. Fun times are coming, I can feel it!

After I was accepted I began to second guess myself, wondering why I hadn't applied to schools in New York, Hawaii, or some other exciting place. But I chose Salt Lake City in the first place, because I wanted to be close to my best friend Kjersti, who recently moved up to teaching high school theatre after a few years of teaching junior high. She has been much of my inspiration in wanting to teach, and she has been the one friend to stick with me through all my adventures and foreign habitations. She always visits me, keeps regular contact, and reminds me of my worth and potential. She seems to know just when I need her, and I know I can count on her - even on the other side of the world. For some mysterious reason, she is also single, so I decided we should at least live close so we can be single together :) Soon we will be roommates again, so I am very excited for the many adventures to come, especially as she tackles this new role in a high school.

The other thing that has happened lately, is that I have become involved in my community here. My boring little city is growing so fast, and now has fun events, diverse culture, great sports teams and organizations. I feel like I am appreciated and valued here. Suddenly the idea of going tens of thousand of dollars in debt, and losing my freedom to travel and move for a few years does not seem so appealing. In a way, I wish I could just stay a little longer and save a little more money and travel a little more...

However, I know that I can't progress much farther here spiritually and emotionally. I need sociality! I need friends to get to know, love and serve, and good men to flirt with and date. I need progression. I need a career that will leave me feeling challenged and rewarded, regardless of the pay. It is time to move on to the next chapter of my life, and I have very clearly been directed to do so in Utah.

So now I work as much as I can to prepare for the big move, and keep myself busy so that the next 8 weeks go by as quickly as possible! And though it still snows in Utah, it is just a short flight from Orlando, where I'll always have a home to escape to. I know that this right for me, that Salt Lake is where I need to be, and now is the time. I can't wait to discover a whole new kind of happy in my life there :)

My American Homecoming

After my border fiasco back in October '08, I was advised to wait at least a year before returning to the United States. Well I am happy to report that, despite my nervousness, all went smoothly and I spent 10 lovely March days in the sunshine state. I got to catch up with wonderful old friends, make some fabulous new ones, play at Walt Disney World, watch the sunset on the west coast, spend a perfect beach day on the east coast, dance my cares away, and attend the wedding of my friend and former roommate, Anita. This day meant a lot to me, not only to see her so very happy, but also because I had to miss the weddings of 2 other roommates, Amy and Bethany, while I was in France last year. So I was thinking of all 3 beautiful brides and dear friends that day :)

The happy couple

3 down, 3 to go from the Chateau

Kim, my favorite adventurer!

She was in Florida at the same time, and made my visit even more fabulous!

During my visit, I noticed a change in myself. I felt more mellow about life and more willing to simply enjoy the moments and follow the Lord's will for me instead of trying to force my own way. I felt closure in many ways. I still miss my life there, and wish I could be there, but I realize that I can't right now. It was like that saying, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." I felt a few doors close that week, but several windows also opened to let in a most refreshing breeze :)

After my forced, 15-month hiatus, I appreciated everything more, especially my true friends. I was very social when I lived in Orlando, and I pretty much knew everyone. It was so interesting to be around some of those people again. A year really isn't that long, but when you are in another country and communications are limited, you see a little more clearly who really cares about you. It's amazing how much things can change in such a short time. I am grateful for the friends who are still friends, and for being able to celebrate the progress and change in each other's lives.

Here are a few photos of my adventures, and the awesome people I shared them with.

With Tawnya, just a week before Cullen was born

Andrea, the best Dory ever

Thibault, my Traditions trainer from Disneyland Paris

Lunch with the Sensors

B-Rock sharing some Utah lovin'

My temple :)
The Solomons totally didn't recognize me. Hi-larious!

Jess the dancing queen

Old and new friends at my 'surprise' party

Miss Hannah. Missed her!

A perfect day at Cocoa beach

Rooftop hot tub and the inspirational Erin

West coast sunset, baby!

My favorite stylist, Emily

Epcot, my home park

Dinner with the Parkes family featuring Elliott, the latest addition :)

I am so blessed! Thank you all (and all the others who I didn't snag photos with) for welcoming me home :)