One little word

I recently stumbled across the blog of a friend of mine, where she chose one word as the theme of her year. I love that idea, cuz I have had one small word crowding my thoughts for a few weeks.

HOPE:(noun) 1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best 2. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence 3.to believe, desire, or trust

As I have spent the past few months reflecting on my experiences and searching out my future path, I have been clinging to hope. I am not where I want to be, and yet I believe that I am on my way. I don't have all the answers, but they are coming, gradually. I have felt incredible heartache for people I love. I've seen them lose touch with precious things, and experience humiliating trials. I wish I could solve all their problems and make the hurt go away. I wish I could help them see the light, regain courage, and move forward. Though I can't do it myself, I have hope that they can. And after the devastating earthquake, I feel so overwhelmed by the need of the Haitian people. Yet, I have hope for them too.

That's what hope is: trusting in the possibilities when the reality gives you nothing but despair.
Hope is the glue when everything seems to fall apart. The new dream when nothing is as you expected. It is the hug of encouragement when you feel like a disappointment and failure. It's the light of inspiration when it seems you've done it all, but must keep going. It's the vision of the future when it seems so close yet so very far away. It's the courage to smile when everyone around you is enjoying the very opportunities you ache to have. It is the clarifying guide when you are alone, and feeling lost; the burst of energy when you feel you have nothing more to give. It is the faith to keep trying when it just seems impossible.

Last year, my life was filled with adventure. This year, I have grown up and settled down somewhat. My focus has changed. I am still dreaming, believing, and pushing forward into the darkness, but the goals I am reaching for now are not specific destinations, nor are they within my immediate control. So instead of planning adventures, I hope that I will succeed. I hope that I can continue my education. I hope that I will be able to study, travel, work, serve and meet many wonderful new people. And I hold onto hope in my future, that I will someday get to experience the joys my freinds are feeling; that I have not been forgotten, but simply have a longer journey to make.

It is hope that has kept me afloat thus far, and I look forward to a new year filled with it. At least, I hope it will be :)