Successful Failure

A friend once taught me something that changed my perspective on life. He called it "successful failure." He reasoned that there are no real failures in our lives because each set-back can teach or prepare us for something amazing we might have never found otherwise. However the success we find depends on our attitude toward our failure.

Several months ago I flew out to Montreal to interview with Disney Cruise Line. I had worked and waited for months for this opportunity, and yet as soon as I interviewed, I knew it wasn't right for me.

As I left the interview, my first thought was, "What a wasted trip! All this time and expense for nothing!" Then directly following was the internal retort, "No, it hasn't been wasted. It was a great weekend, and I needed to have this experience to choose for myself. I needed to reach a turning point and start a new chapter in my life. This was a successful failure."

I was offered the job, and I turned it down. I wasn't rejected, I simply recognized that it was time to take my life in a different direction. I chose to fail.

Our hotel was located right in the heart of the city, on the metro stop Bonaventure. That means "good adventure" in French. I think my trip to Montreal was just that, a good adventure. I got to explore a city I have wanted to visit for years. I met some fabulous people, flirted with some nice guys, and spoke some French. I also got back into working out, and had some really good talks with my mom. It was by no means a wasted trip. I loved Montreal, and I feel like the realizations were well worth the expense. A completely successful failure.

Then in late September I auditioned to dance in the Christmas concert for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And I made it! I was so excited to dance again. I was thrilled for the rehearsal process, the physical demands, the costumes, the stage! However, one of my classes conflicted with the rehearsal schedule and I had to drop out. Grad school is my priority right now, and I couldn't neglect my studies for a chance to dance. I chose to fail.

This choice has allowed me to have the free time to take on a number of other projects, including supporting my best friend and her family through a very difficult time. I've also joined the costume team for the Christmas concert where I have rekindled and improved some old skills and earn a little extra money while still being a part of the show. Plus, I am applying to a totally different department in order to change to another grad program that I finally feel great about. Ironically, this means that I don't even need the class that prevented me from dancing. However, so much else has happened that couldn't have otherwise, and I get to fly to Orlando the day before the performances which means a cheaper flight and longer stay. Totally successful failure.

In both cases, I thought I knew what I wanted, and I worked so hard to make it happen. Yet when the offer came, I walked away - for nothing but the dream of something else. I suppose that's what faith is, and that just might be what makes the difference.

All things happen for  a reason - including our failures. It's up to us to find the success in them.