She’s back!!!!!!!!

Figuratively and literally.

I am back at home in Canada after four wonderful weeks of travel and visits. But more importantly, I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually back where I should be.

The past six months or so have been a very trying time for me. I have been living with my parents - without my own room. The weather was bitterly cold. I gained weight. I felt lost, frustrated, confused, and alone.

Then back in February, something clicked. I was driving around running errands after a great trip to the gym; listening to some of my favourite music, completely in control of my own schedule. Suddenly I realized how great I felt. Even in my putzy little home town, I felt like ME again! I felt like the girl who had a fun, independent life in Florida. I felt confident, happy, positive, and calm. It was AWESOME!!!

At first it was a fleeting feeling, and the discouragement would still creep in daily. Now, I feel that difference consistently – even with the obvious opposition of a miserable April snowstorm :) This small experience, combined with several others and culminating in my extended vacation, has helped me to get back to being the girl I love to be. Me!

I believe I have kicked whatever funk was weighing me down. I am still not where I want to be in my life, but I know that I will be soon. I have the perspective to see a few months ahead and recognize the value of a little sacrifice now. I have become more involved with local events and organizations. I have a calling at church. I feel a part of something valuable. I contribute, I matter! And I can give so much more standing tall, shoulders square, with a smile of excited determination on my face. Not a whole lot has changed in the past year and a half, but I have changed, and that is what matters most. I like the progress I have made. I like the person I have become. I like the way I am starting to see others, the self-discipline that I am learning, the way I treat myself, and how much I just want to be good!

So in a way, I am back to the old me – positive, determined, motivated, and passionate. However, I believe the updated version is just that much stronger, wiser and happier. And boy does it feel great to have found her!!