I just feel yecky

I have so many wonderful things to write about the last month, but I just can't do it right now. Today has been rough. And it's all inside. The reality of leaving Florida is finally starting to sink in and it literally makes me feel ill. It's so hard to understand why I had to leave a place and people that I love so much. I don't get why it's so hard for me to take the next step, or why I'm not really excited about being anywhere else. I don't think i've ever hated change so much. I wish I could just get excited about something!

I think I must be addicted to people. I thrive on conversation. I live to play and talk and dance with my friends. I find so much comfort in knowing that someone who cares about me is there, even if we're just silently watching a movie. And I really love the feeling of being close to someone you are attracted to, who also respects and appreciates you. When you can completely relax and be yourself, all the while thinking what an amaing person you are talking to. Especially when it has been a long time coming and finally just works out - right before you leave the country for a year. AAAAARGRGRHRHHHHH!

I have got the most wonderful friends in the world and I miss them all so much. Especially my five closest friends: Kjersti, Hannah, Nora, Sarah, and Jewell, who are all very far away from me right now. These five women have inspired and supoorted and kicked my butt through so many crazy trials this year. I wish I could give back to them even half of what they have done for me. I love them, I miss them, and I wish I could just figure out a way to live close to all of them - or at least in the same country :(