OSL

Tonight a friend of my parents suggested that instead of teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) I should teach OSL - Old, Single Language. Yep, cuz I've got old and alone mastered.

As soon as I processed what he said, I had to leave before I let the tears win, or said something rude out of anger. Considering the fact that next week is my big, scary, officially-old birthday, and I haven't slept much lately, that was rough.  Somehow his skewed sense of humor had no clue how this little jab felt more like a punch in the face.

I can't speak for all single women, but personally, I don't choose to be single. I never imagined I would not be married by now! I don't want to go through life alone! I want to set up roots and build a family! I want to have the big, special day and the white dress and the temple covenants and the flowers and the eternal promises! I want to have someone to care for, learn from, and build forever with!!

However, only half of that equation is within my control (even less if you consider location, timing, and chemistry).

So I am trying to make the most of the opportunities that come my way. I'm doing my best to be happy in spite of what I lack. I'm doing what I can to serve, love, learn and progress. I am just trying to live the life I have been given, one step at a time. And someday, somehow, some wonderful man I can't seem to get enough of will love me enough to spend forever with me!

Or not. It's such a mysterious and miraculous thing, it may never happen! The point is, it's not funny. It's not sad or to be pitied either. It just is what it is - my reality. And besides, I'm really not that old! Most people think I'm 5 years younger anyway!

So please don't harass me for something I have very little control over and is a very obvious deficit in my life. Honestly, I often forget until someone decides to slice open the topic again - and then rub a handful of salt in it. Awesome.

So this is Christmas...

I have had the incredible blessing of spending Christmas this year in Laie, Hawaii, a quiet little town on the north shore of Oahu. There is so much I can and will share about my experience here but for today, let me say this:

There is such a special spirit here, a feeling you get from the people, the town, and the area. Life is simple - many homes are very modest and even run down. The roads are narrow, and the stores are few. Life is focused around family, faith, and cultural traditions. The feeling that resonates through all these things is one of welcome, inclusion, love, hope, and peace. Polynesian people treat you like an instant friend - they expect the best from people, and trust them until given a reason not to. They talk to strangers! They are always smiling and laughing and sharing stories. People on the mainland seem to do the opposite: you must prove yourself and earn trust before you can enter their 'world.'

I often talk of how much I love a green Christmas, having spent a few in Florida. But the warm temperatures are only the beginning of what makes Christmas so special here. It beats out the "magic" of Disney lights, shows, parades, and fireworks. It is a universal friendship and family that seems to cross over every cultural and societal barrier to bring the light of Christ to all.

Many call this feeling the Spirit of Aloha. Whatever it is, is is unique and beautiful, and it has made this Christmas season wonderful and distinct from any other. From handing out anonymous gifts of cash to needy families from Africa, Mongolia, the Philippines, India, and Vietnam, to feeding single students far away from their families a potluck Christmas lunch, it has been a special season indeed.

Photo by Mike Foley, PCC

Yet with all the lights wrapping the palm trees, and Christmas carol hulas, I can't help but think of that simple night over 2000 years ago when a young couple, full of faith, welcomed a very special child into the most poor and lowly of circumstances. His sacred, humble entrance into the world was just one of many ways the Savior taught us what really matters, and what true greatness is. And as that tiny babe grew to be a man, and took the literal weight of the world's pains, sorrows, weakness ad mistakes upon Him, he still maintained that quiet dignity and greatness in spite of circumstance.

May we all - at this wonderful time of year and everyday of our lives - remember the one who was willing to suffer all, so that we would not have to. May we live within the simple means and necessities we have, and be willing to share with those who don't. May we love without qualification, look for the best in others, and help them to along the way. May we do our best everyday to be a little better. And may we do it without seeking the praise and recognition of our fellow men, but instead in recognition and praise of the one man who made it all possible for us, by complete faith in His Father's plan for all his children.

Mele kalikimaka! Merry Christmas! God bless us, EVERY one!

I ♥ Orlando

A few weeks ago I went with some friends to my favorite place on the planet. It took some scrimping and saving, a whole lot of planning, plenty more improvising, and several exceptionally generous people. I felt so incredibly blessed to be there.

I know Florida is not for everyone. It really is strange how much I love it! It is the complete opposite of the cold, dry, land-locked, small-town I grew up in. But Orlando truly feels like home to me. Every time I visit I am reminded how hard it is to leave.

And here are a few reasons why:

• I can breath! I have terrible allergies and a deviated septum so between the humidity and the oxygen-rich, sea-level air, my lungs are so much happier in Florida.
• Spanish moss - everywhere. I realize that it is technically neither moss nor Spanish, and it's actually a parasite, but it looks so whimsical and romantic hanging from the trees... I just love it!
• There are lizards everywhere. Lizards are so stinkin' cool.

• SUNSHINE!! Vitamin D makes me happy.
• Even when it rains, it's still warm. Singing and dancing in the rain is a completely enjoyable experience there :)

• It never gets much colder than freezing, and even that's only a few times in the winter. If you can survive the melting summers, the rest of the year is thermalogical perfection!
• I just feel better there. Warm weather inspires me to work out more, eat less and choose lighter, healthier foods. My body is much happier when it is healthy and active.
• It is so green and lush and alive because the plants keep growing all year long. Green is kinda my favorite color and the eternal greenness makes me so happy!!
• Where else do you hear the rolling thunder of fireworks in the distance every single night?! Besides the nights you watch them from the dock of a private lake, or the beach of a Disney resort...

• Speaking of beaches, there is coastal access within an hour to the east or west. I love the feeling of sand between my toes, a sea breeze across my face and the sounds of waves crashing in my ears. It is honestly therapeutic for me!

• Florida is the only place where the further north you go, the further south you get! I love Southern accents, Southern manners, and good ol' fashioned hospitality.
• Fireflies....Seriously the most amazing creature ever.
• Florida skies! Because of all the moisture in the air, it is the lightning capital of the U.S. and the thunderstorms are amazing! Plus those scattered clouds make for incredible sunsets - with no mountains blocking the view ;)

• Good eats: Bahama Breeze, Seasons 54, Earl of Sandwich, Panera Bread, and the incomparable Dole Whip soft serve are all culinary treasures that are lacking in the west.

• Diversity. There are literally people there from all over the country and the world.
• Palm trees =Warm = Happiness
• Good people :) I still have so many awesome old friends there that love me for exactly the person I am, and so many new friends who keep things ever-evolving and interesting.
• Ummmm.... Walt Disney World. Need I say more?

I feel so blessed that I still have so many opportunities to go back to visit! Even though right now I can't live there full time, I am grateful for the Florida moments I still get, and for the people who make them magical. I enjoy every minute and every memory made! And I still have faith that some day I'll be able to go back to my second home - for good!

So many beautiful reasons I have to be happy!

After spending the day in a very happy place with some dear friends I simply love, I was thinking about how very blessed I am. And then I came across an article containing this quote from President Thomas S. Monson:

“A grateful heart … comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives,” said President Monson in a 2010 address. “This requires conscious effort—at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude. … When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given.”

(For the entire statement, click here.)

It got me thinking about my current situation and attitude. At times I struggle with the seemingly endless wanderings of my life, the many unanswered questions and unaccomplished dreams. But then I think about all the incredible blessings I have been given, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world!

I have an incredible family who love, support, and challenge me.

I have amazing, talented, beautiful, and loving friends all over the world. And I have a computer and internet access to help me stay in touch with them!

I can dance, run, and play. I can taste yummy food and breathe in warm, wonderful smells. I have red hair and freckles :) My body is healthy and awesome!

I can communicate with people from many different backgrounds and cultures, and thereby share a little of their journey.

I am halfway done grad school and my journey to become a teacher!

I live in a safe, comfortable place. I have warm blankets and a space heater to keep me warm, and still have the opportunity to visit warmer climes occasionally.

And most importantly, I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, a personal relationship with my Savior and my Father in Heaven, and have been promised amazing blessings.

I am so blessed to be alive!! It makes me so grateful for each day and makes my heart happy! I only hope I can share all these fabulous blessings so that others can feel that love and have a happy heart too - regardless of what life has thrown their way.

So when you reach deep and look hard enough, what do you have to be thankful for?

Love at first sight

I fell in love tonight.

Literally, the moment I saw him, I loved him.

He smiled the moment our eyes met, and my heart melted.

He had perfectly round deep blue eyes and long, lovely eyelashes. His nose was this perfect little square, and his cheeks just glowed. He was just the right amount of pudgy without being obese. He was warm and cuddly and just made me feel amazing.

His name is Oliver and he is three months old... I hope his mama knows how lucky she is!

The big white envelope

So the boy got his mission call, and I got to be there when he opened it :) Drum roll please!.....................

He is going to the Lubbock Texas mission, Spanish-speaking, and he goes to the MTC October 26. It is perfect for him and he is leaving so soon which is also perfect! And now I understand why I needed to let him go when I did. He has just over a month to take care of all the final preparations for his mission, with a caring friend supporting - but not distracting - him. Such an exciting adventure to be a part of. Yay for missions!

The Lubbock, Texas temple of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

9/11

It was a typical Tuesday morning at BYU-Idaho. My roommate and best friend Jewell was giving me a ride  to class in her old, red mini-van. We couldn't find any good music on the radio. Every station was playing some news report. Then we stopped and listened, and the whole world changed forever.


Funny how you record significant moments like that in your mind. I can still see images of that day: the radio in the van, the chaotic campus, my distraught professor (whose husband was supposed to be flying out of DC that morning), watching the continuing news reports back in our apartment, a special devotional with our then college president, David A. Bednar....


I honestly didn't know what the World Trade Center was until it was destroyed. I was just a little Canadian girl away from home for the first time. I had never traveled outside of North America, nor to many places within it. I didn't even really know what my major would be. But I knew after that day I would never be the same.


We all know what happened on that fateful day in 2001, and all the policies, security measures, military operations, and other changes that have happened since. Suddenly a nation who felt untouchable was vulnerable. Suddenly the unthinkable happened. We could have wallowed in the shock and anguish and let it destroy us - I'm sure some did. And yet in the terror and misery of that day, and the trials of the years that followed, there was also an overwhelming sense of hope and unity that rose from the rubble. So many took that opportunity to step up to serve and strengthen those around them, whether it be in their own families and neighborhoods, or in battlefields abroad. It is what we do when the dust settles that truly defines us.


At first, I think the country did alright. The fear lingered for awhile, but eventually faith took over. We were more open to strangers, more grateful for family, and just happy to be alive another day. However, in the selfish struggles of our troubled economy and rocky political world today, have we forgotten the very values that this nation was established upon? Perhaps ten years ago the threat was from the outside, but it seems today that the worst enemy is on the inside. We are tearing down our great nation from within by living beyond our means, ignoring the needs of our neighbors, and neglecting the very values that brought us to where we are.


Though we don't usually make it that far, the third verse of the Star-Spangled Banner says:
"Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land praise the power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, and this be our motto "In God is our trust." 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave."


Beyond the battle of the first verse we sing over and over, the lesson is found in the continued diligence of standing up to injustice and desolation to protect our homes, our families, and our freedom - all the while recognizing the divine source of our peace and strength. I think today we have let the small worries and stresses distract us from what matters most. We have forgotten the God who helped establish this great nation in the first place, and let fear seep back into our lives.


With gratitude to all who were taken from us on 9/11/01 and to all who have given their lives in the name of peace and freedom since, I invite all to step up and stand up for what made America great. Let us do our part to stand up to the evils of the world, the attitudes of entitlement and selfishness in our society. May we remember the unity, mutual respect, and brotherhood that brought America to be and carried us through this, and many other tragedies. May we see the best in others and look beyond our own wants. And may we do so in the trust and faith of our God who, by whatever name you use for him, directs our lives and helps us find the purpose and joy in the chaos and misery. May we never forget, and never give up on that vision of what America can be!


** Addendum: This morning I found these quotes in this article from the On Faith section of the Washington Post. They seem to reiterate my sentiments exactly.

Religion scholar Karen Armstrong says it's time for religion to be a force for good. "Ten years on, the world is even more dangerously polarized and religion, for obvious reasons, religion is seen not as part of the solution but part of the problem."


"It seems that much of the post-9/11 renewal of faith has waned in the years that have followed," writes Thomas Monson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. "It should not require tragedy for us to remember God."


“There are three lessons to be learned from 9/11,” writes Rick Warren. “First, life is a gift that is fragile and brief. Whatever you are going to do with your life, you had better get it done. Second, everybody needs community. And thirdly, everybody has a spiritual hole in their heart that only God can fill.”