January 3rd, 2019 was literally the worst day of my life, the day I learned that my baby had died inside me. I was always a pretty dramatic kid, so I’m no stranger to creating scenarios in my head and playing the “What if…” game. But this scenario had never occurred to me. Nothing on earth could have prepared me for the shock of that day, or the incomparable heartache that comes from the loss of an infant, especially one whose existence was filled with so much hope and anticipation.
It has been difficult to know how to share this journey, but then I remembered a book I came across toward the end of my pregnancy called "Six Stories Every Mom Should Tell" by Denise J. Hughes (you can find her blog explaining it and where to buy it here).
Hughes wanted a way to record things that meant more than just the standard facts normally recorded in a baby book. She wanted to share with her daughter what mattered most to who she was and where she came from. I couldn't afford the book at the time, but I liked the concept so I made a note in my phone to record those stories at some point for my child.
The six stories are:
1. The story of their birth.
2. The story of how you picked their name.
3. A story that reflects their strengths.
4. The story of how you met Jesus.
5. The story of how you met their dad.
6. The story of your dreams.
When Theo died, I struggled to know how to share a life that never got to take his first breath; one so precious to Brett and me, but that so few people ever even saw. And I wanted to write, because I love to write, but it was hard to find the right words or know if, when, or how to share them. It took several months, but I've decided to share my six stories with Theo, here (linked in list above). If angels can read thoughts he probably knows them already, but I want to record them anyway, just in case he (or someone else) needs to hear it.
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