Just kidding :)

Ok so maybe I should rescind that last post. Because as much as things aren't happening exactly the way I imagined, they are still happening! There is progression, albeit slow, and life is far from the dismal state I described. For someone whose motto is to "take things one day at a time" I was getting way ahead of myself. I'm pretty sure I was also fending off a strange combination of seasonal depression and PMS... So please forgive my little rant and allow me to refer back to my wonderful word of the year - HOPE.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: "Real hope keeps us 'anxiously engaged' in good causes even when these appear to be losing causes on the mortal scoreboard. Likewise, real hope is much more than wishful musing. It stiffens, not slackens, the spiritual spine. Hope is serene, not giddy, eager without being naive, and pleasantly steady without being smug. Hope is realistic anticipation which takes the form of a determination—not only to survive adversity but, moreover, to 'endure … well' to the end."

Instead of allowing myself to dream and hope, I have been minimizing my feelings for the sake of self-preservation. I was allowing fear to run the show and kill my faith. While watching a movie tonight, I heard these wordsa as if they were spoken directly to me:

"You are afraid hurt will happen to you again... Only way to heal is to trust. This ok. To have broken heart mean you have try for something."
(Ketut the medecine man, Eat, Pray, Love)

Apparently this relationship is simply part of another lesson in faith and patience. And goodness knows they cannot thrive where there is fear! My daily life is full of happy, unpredictable moments, and I am learning to embrace and enjoy them all.