Growing up I was a
total stress head. I took on too much, procrastinated constantly, freaked out
as the deadline quickly approached, and still managed to get done what I needed
to. Actually that sounds like the end of every semester of grad school now....
When I was in high
school it was so bad that I would literally get sick every semester. My dad
called it my burn-out day. It was like my body had had enough of all the
pressure and running around and sleep deprivation, so it caused violent illness
to force me to stay at home and rest. Within a day I was refreshed and back to
the madness! But clearly my lifestyle was not healthy.
I've spent a lot
of time over the past few years trying to find a way to better deal with
stress. I've been doing more yoga, running when my back will allow it, and
sadly, giving in to chocolate cravings. I know, not exactly a balanced
approach.
However, recently
I have felt a difference in my perspective of potentially stressful situations.
Perhaps all that thinking and experimenting finally worked! In reality, I
believe it was spending a month in the Dominican Republic that made all the
difference.
When I first
arrived in Santo Domingo, I was shocked by how much garbage there was in the
streets and parks, how poorly kept the buildings and streets were, and how
scary the driving was. I had no idea how primitive it would be in so many ways,
and yet many people had smartphones. Go figure!
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| Home is a roof over your head and family by your side. |
Gradually I began
to not only adjust to the ways things were, but also to understand why. There
has been, and continues to be so much favoritism and corruption
in government there, and really all leadership positions. The wealth
is piled up in the upper class while the rest of
the people struggle to cover their basic needs. And yet in
the midst of this madness, they are so mellow and happy! It seems the Dominican
people have mastered the art of focusing on what they CAN control and letting
go of the rest.
I met an amazing
guy who, in spite of the societal norms of male domination, was incredibly kind
and helpful to everyone around him, and became a friend to many of the students
on our program. He grew up in one of the most dangerous areas of the city and
yet he spoke of how close-knit his neighborhood was. He said they
were like an extended family, always checking in and watching out for one
another. They had to be a little extra careful at times, but they knew someone
was watching out for them. It made me think about the neighbors I had for a
year and a half, never exchanging more than a brief hello in passing.
My last week there
I visited a very poor area where the African traditions of hundreds of years
ago are still going strong. The people are beautiful and kind and invited us to
dance with them and share their music and traditions. They lived in shacks made
of cinder blocks and corrugated metal. Many of the children ran around in shoes
too big for them or none at all! One girl had to break the back of her
shoes because they got too small and she didn't have any others. They
had so little and yet they were some of the happiest and sweetest
kids I have ever seen.
Then there was my
host mother. Though she wasn't extremely wealthy, she had enough. Every day
there would be someone extra at the house for a meal or just a
visit. She kept her home clean and orderly, even though it was very
simple. And she had this amazing way of making me feel like family while also
providing the royal treatment by way of meals, laundry, and local advice. She
made all the difference in my time there and I will always love and respect
her.
For these amazing
people, it was most important to know where your next meal was coming from and
if your family members would be coming home that night. They don't
worry so much about the latest styles, who's dating who, calorie counting,
or complaining about what they don't have. They focus on what they DO
have and what they CAN control.
Eventually the
adventure ended and I came back to the US. From the minute I arrived, I could
feel the stress building. Suddenly I had bills, contracts, appointments, late
fees, car repairs, over-processed food, scheduling, and gossip flooding my
mind. After a month of sleeping on a simple bed with nothing but a ceiling fan
to cool me off, I found myself complaining about less-than-perfect
air conditioning and stiff pillows.
I feel like
North Americans have become so self-focused that we've forgotten how
fortunate we really are. We've forgotten the value of hard work and the
blessings of simple living. We rack up credit card bills instead of
disciplining our habits of eating out, shopping, or
vacationing. How much better would life be if we could learn to
live simply, within our means, and actually save for new things and
experiences instead of needing them right now?
Now coming from a
girl who travels all the time, while also trying to survive on a grad school
budget, I know this sounds hypocritical. Honestly, I am still trying to figure
out my own approach and work out the details of my current situation.
But one thing I
know is this: I will not allow stress to run my life anymore.
I am learning to
fuel my body with real, clean, vitamin-packed food instead of the cheap
and easy processed food that is so readily available. I'm learning to listen to
my body, take breaks and get adequate sleep. I'm learning to pace myself
and work ahead when possible, so I'm not freaking out when I hit
the deadlines.
I'm learning to
say no! I'm living in the moment, with my long-term goals in mind.
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| What more do you need? ;) |
I will always have
a little stress in my life. I think we all need a fire under our feet to keep
us moving, working, and progressing. However, I will not allow it to take over
my life, destroy my body or control my happiness. Fortunately I caught
myself and put an end to it.
My dad gave me a
plaque a couple years ago that says. "Too blessed to be
stressed." Isn't it so true?! I may have my worries and bumps along the
road, but in the big scheme of things, I have all I need and so much more!
