When did I become a hippy?

My sweetener of choice is honey.
My lotion must have aloe, cocoa butter, natural oils, and nothing I can't pronounce.
My cookies must be freshbaked and preferably whole grain, processed foods taste so... fake.
Cotton is vital to my wardrobe, polyester has very little place there.
I try to recycle just about everything I can.
My meat and eggs are all locally farm-grown.

How on earth am I going to survive on a student budget now that I understand more, and actually care what I am giving my body??

Utah... who knew?

As many of you already know, I have been accepted to the Master's program in Educational Psychology at the University of Utah. I am both thrilled and nervous about beginning this new phase of my life.

When I returned to Canada last October, reality hit harder than ever. Although I had had some amazing experiences, all I had to show for it were a few thousand photos and an empty bank account. I was lost as to how to proceed with my life, or what I even wanted to do. Though I enjoyed working in tourism and event planing, I knew that these were neither meaningful nor sustainable careers. When the economy slows down, the luxury spending on vacations and parties are among the first things to go. I needed more stability than that. I also wanted to feel like what I did was making a difference, so instead of making a few kids happy for a day, maybe I could help build them up for life...

All that, along with my love for communication and education, led me to teaching. This is something I can do as a mother, that will help with my own kids, and if nothing else, I can teach and nurture children now, while I wait for my own. With the world getting more harsh and difficult every day, I want to empower kids to be their best and to love goodness. I believe so many lost souls could have made it if someone had believed in them.

Since my undergrad was in Communication, I next had to find a Master's program that included teaching certification. If I am going to spend another 2 years in school to certify, then I might as well get a Master's degree too!

I narrowed down the areas I wanted to live to Florida, Texas, D.C., or Utah. I wanted to be close to friends, and preferably in a warmer climate (although almost anything is warmer than Canada!) The Florida deadlines were all too early to make. Texas didn't really have the program I needed. UVU didn't accept international students to their teaching program. Then I discovered the degree at the University of Utah. It seemed ideal for my goals, gave me a more legit degree than just a Master's of Teaching, and was right down the road from plenty of good friends.

The GRE was miserable, the application process was long and complicated, and the preparation stressful. However, I got everything in on time, and proceeded to spend the next month traveling and playing with some of my favorite American friends.

By mid-April I was getting antsy, so I got online to check my status. It said "Admitted." I read that page over and over, afraid it was going to change or something. Then a week later, I got a letter in the mail with the same exciting news. I got in! They want me! And suddenly the reality of this commitment began to sink in.

There are a few things about this whole scheme that really showed a divine hand guiding me through - and it's a good thing, cuz I have had my doubts! First of all, I got in! It is a competitive program at a great university, and I am no genius. Obviously they think I am up to it though, so I best believe in myself too.

Second, I have never wanted to live in Utah, in fact, I think I have fairly successfully avoided it, until now. It is a beautiful place to visit, but I have had a little too many negative experiences with some arrogant, ignorant, "Utards" as they say. Please forgive the slang, but I see this as a whole different breed from the Utahans I totally respect and adore. I just feel like a lot of people who live there take so much for granted. They have created this "holier than thou" attitude, when in many cases, they haven't got the backbone or base of testimony to survive anywhere but "Zion." That being said, may I reapeat that some of my favorite people, whom I love and admire the most are from Utah, and do not fit this mold at all. But those other ones had me scared off. I have come to realize that I will find ignorant, selfish people anywhere I go. Instead of worrying about dealing with them, perhaps I can focus on destroying that stereotype, and being my best self in spite of them. Plus, I am actually pretty excited about being in a city surrounded by the serenity and adventure of the mountains, while also being a major center filled with culture, professional sports, temples, restaurants, and a major airport. Fun times are coming, I can feel it!

After I was accepted I began to second guess myself, wondering why I hadn't applied to schools in New York, Hawaii, or some other exciting place. But I chose Salt Lake City in the first place, because I wanted to be close to my best friend Kjersti, who recently moved up to teaching high school theatre after a few years of teaching junior high. She has been much of my inspiration in wanting to teach, and she has been the one friend to stick with me through all my adventures and foreign habitations. She always visits me, keeps regular contact, and reminds me of my worth and potential. She seems to know just when I need her, and I know I can count on her - even on the other side of the world. For some mysterious reason, she is also single, so I decided we should at least live close so we can be single together :) Soon we will be roommates again, so I am very excited for the many adventures to come, especially as she tackles this new role in a high school.

The other thing that has happened lately, is that I have become involved in my community here. My boring little city is growing so fast, and now has fun events, diverse culture, great sports teams and organizations. I feel like I am appreciated and valued here. Suddenly the idea of going tens of thousand of dollars in debt, and losing my freedom to travel and move for a few years does not seem so appealing. In a way, I wish I could just stay a little longer and save a little more money and travel a little more...

However, I know that I can't progress much farther here spiritually and emotionally. I need sociality! I need friends to get to know, love and serve, and good men to flirt with and date. I need progression. I need a career that will leave me feeling challenged and rewarded, regardless of the pay. It is time to move on to the next chapter of my life, and I have very clearly been directed to do so in Utah.

So now I work as much as I can to prepare for the big move, and keep myself busy so that the next 8 weeks go by as quickly as possible! And though it still snows in Utah, it is just a short flight from Orlando, where I'll always have a home to escape to. I know that this right for me, that Salt Lake is where I need to be, and now is the time. I can't wait to discover a whole new kind of happy in my life there :)

My American Homecoming

After my border fiasco back in October '08, I was advised to wait at least a year before returning to the United States. Well I am happy to report that, despite my nervousness, all went smoothly and I spent 10 lovely March days in the sunshine state. I got to catch up with wonderful old friends, make some fabulous new ones, play at Walt Disney World, watch the sunset on the west coast, spend a perfect beach day on the east coast, dance my cares away, and attend the wedding of my friend and former roommate, Anita. This day meant a lot to me, not only to see her so very happy, but also because I had to miss the weddings of 2 other roommates, Amy and Bethany, while I was in France last year. So I was thinking of all 3 beautiful brides and dear friends that day :)

The happy couple

3 down, 3 to go from the Chateau

Kim, my favorite adventurer!

She was in Florida at the same time, and made my visit even more fabulous!

During my visit, I noticed a change in myself. I felt more mellow about life and more willing to simply enjoy the moments and follow the Lord's will for me instead of trying to force my own way. I felt closure in many ways. I still miss my life there, and wish I could be there, but I realize that I can't right now. It was like that saying, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." I felt a few doors close that week, but several windows also opened to let in a most refreshing breeze :)

After my forced, 15-month hiatus, I appreciated everything more, especially my true friends. I was very social when I lived in Orlando, and I pretty much knew everyone. It was so interesting to be around some of those people again. A year really isn't that long, but when you are in another country and communications are limited, you see a little more clearly who really cares about you. It's amazing how much things can change in such a short time. I am grateful for the friends who are still friends, and for being able to celebrate the progress and change in each other's lives.

Here are a few photos of my adventures, and the awesome people I shared them with.

With Tawnya, just a week before Cullen was born

Andrea, the best Dory ever

Thibault, my Traditions trainer from Disneyland Paris

Lunch with the Sensors

B-Rock sharing some Utah lovin'

My temple :)
The Solomons totally didn't recognize me. Hi-larious!

Jess the dancing queen

Old and new friends at my 'surprise' party

Miss Hannah. Missed her!

A perfect day at Cocoa beach

Rooftop hot tub and the inspirational Erin

West coast sunset, baby!

My favorite stylist, Emily

Epcot, my home park

Dinner with the Parkes family featuring Elliott, the latest addition :)

I am so blessed! Thank you all (and all the others who I didn't snag photos with) for welcoming me home :)

Absolutely Finn-tastic

I am such a Gleek. These shows are my weekly dose of humor, eye candy, and feel-good music. The past few weeks have been especially enjoyable, mostly because of all the focus on the guys. Let's be honest, guys who can sing? Irresistable!!!
I love this tall, dreamy Canadian boy and the incredible sincerity he pours into every performance...


... almost as much as I LOVE this curly-haired, broad-shouldered man and his smooth, passionate voice. (not Doogie Houser, the other guy ;)


And an honorable mention goes to this guy. His character is an idiot but he's so dang cute!

Cinco de Mayo

Today would have been the 28th birthday of my best friend Jewell. I've been thinking a lot about her lately, and all the good times we shared. I do not understand the injustice of mortality. Sometimes I really hate it. Some things I will never understand. But this I know: I love her. I miss her. I am so glad I knew her. And I know someday, I will laugh and sing with her again.


(Click here to read my blog about this amazing girl)

P.S.

I LOVE the positive people in my life!!! They are rare treasures in a strange world, and they make life a beautiful thing to be a part of. Thank you!!

Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like I expect too much of people. Sometimes I get really frustrated when people act selfishly. Sometimes I feel hurt or betrayed because other people don't live up to the potential I see in them. Sometimes I feel so much love for people - and that is exactly what sets me up to be hurt or disappointed.
Maybe I am the selfish one... for seeing what isn't there, for believing anything is possible, for wanting the best. Then you try to help, and you get a slap in the face...
Bleh!
I won't stop loving, and I won't stop serving, but I tell you what:
The world is a lot bigger than you think! Get over yourself, cuz we are all in this together! There's always someone else who has it worse than you! No one forces you to be miserable or happy, you do that all by yourself.